I\’m applying for a new life insurance policy (my wife is insisting I get it – which should worry me significantly), and last night I had my over-the-phone health check. It\’s the thorough interview where they ask you if you\’ve ever had gingivitis, grown an extra head, sykydive while using an intravenous drug, or whatever. They asked me if I drank heavily, if I did heroin, and if I used marijuana. That took me all the way to Tuesday of this week.

Anyway, they were asking me if I had any of these horrible diseases and I kept saying my health was clean as a whistle. In the middle of these questions, though, I started coughing and couldn\’t stop. This angered me, as with every cough, I could see my premium going up. \”Cough\” CHING! \”Cough.\” CHING! They probably think they\’re getting some dying guy who just lied to them on every question. I can\’t wait to see my first bill now. I\’ll probably be paying more Courtney Love.