Christian Schneider

Author, Columnist

Author: Christian (page 29 of 81)

Why Do the Brewers Hate Me?

With the Brew Crew in the midst of being smoked by the Cubs again, I\’m trying my hardest to remain positive. I keep telling myself that the Brewers aren\’t really in a race against the Cubs – they\’re really locked in a race against the Cubs, Cardinals, Mets, Phillies, and Marlins. So whatever happens with those teams is just as relevant as what happens in this series against the Cubbies. I am also thankful that it started raining here in Madison and my satellite went out, so I was unable to watch Ben Sheets get bombed in the 6th inning. The inclement weather may have saved my life.

But even as you try to spin it positively, these losses are heartbreaking. If someone called me and told me Iran attacked America and now controls the state of Oregon, I\’d probably shrug and say \”ah, we probably have too many states anyway.\” But seeing the Brew Crew fall flat on their faces in the season\’s biggest series is almost too much to take.

What\’s particularly galling are things like this: The Cubs are up 1-0 in the fifth, and Zambrano looks unhittable. Runner on first, one out. Ben Sheets is up, and… SWINGING AWAY? What in the name of Don Money is going on here? Someone should check and see if Ned Yost is betting on these games. That can be the only explanation for Sheets not bunting the runner over to give Ray Durham a chance to tie the game.

Speaking of Ray Durham, assuming he\’s not hurt badly, he should be playing 2nd base from here on out. I\’m sure Rickie Weeks is a wonderful baseball player, aside from his inability to either hit or field. Perhaps he\’s an exceptional speller. Maybe he has exemplary penmanship. If he\’s a great \”clubhouse\” guy, then good for him – that\’s where he can stay. Unfortunately, where he falls short is his ability to play baseball. And that\’s something the Brewers kind of need right now.

So instead of continuing to grouse, I\’ll leave everyone with this oft-linked to ad:

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

I\’m a Brewer believer. Son of a bitch.

Overheard

Following Ryan Braun\’s 2-run game-tying homer tonight against the Astros, I got up and did a little dance. The following conversation between my wife and I ensued:

Her: \”So has Braun finally eclipsed Bill Hall as your favorite Brewer?\”

Me: \”It\’s like picking between your favorite children.\”

Her: \”Do I get to pick other people\’s children?\”

You Heard it Here First

As regular readers know, I am somewhat of a connoisseur of crazy people letters to state legislators. I was recently passed this one that\’s currently circulating around the Wisconsin State Capitol. It immediately makes the Crazy Letter Hall of Fame, which is getting pretty crowded at this point.

Much like a good novel of any particular genre, it contains all the hallmarks a crazy letter should:

1. Hatred of Jews: Check
2. Ridiculous conspiracy theories: Check
3. Belief they are the only ones standing up to the government: Check
4. Indication that \”this is not a joke,\” clearly indicating that it is, in fact, a joke: Check
5. Liberal use of the word \”warmonger:\” Check.
6. Use of own name in third person: Check.

Yet while all these characteristics are present, this letter throws in a few extras for the reader, such as Bill Richardson \”claiming to be a Mexican\” in hopes of \”pulling Spanish votes.\” (Perhaps he is unaware Mexico and Spain are on different continents.) As the rock-solid theory goes, Richardson is secretly Jewish, and is pretending to be \”a Mexican,\” so he and Obama get elected, then he and his Jewish friends plan on assassinating Obama so a Jew can be President. Then (stay with me, here) the Jews will orchestrate another 9/11, and once again blame it on bin Laden.

How this plot has escaped the Obama campaign is beyond me – the evidence is overwhelming. For instance, this guy conducted his own telephone survey, which determined that 100% of Jews support Obama. (\”You can do your own poll in one day by making random phone calls.\”) He forgot to mention that his poll has an error rate of plus or minus 100%.

You can see on his letter that he has his own (800) telephone number, where he can be reached in his compound in Glenmoore, PA – where he, no doubt, is about to expose the next big story in the campaign. He should actually have his own show on MSNBC.

Is Obama the “Hero We Need?”

(Note: This column contains references to the movie “The Dark Knight.” Although they’re not “spoilers,” considered yourself duly warned if you’re one of those people that doesn’t want to know anything about the movie before you see it. And given its box office numbers, if you haven’t seen it, you likely live in a community with no electricity.)

In recent years, the superhero movie genre has undergone a revival. Previously, movies featuring comic book heroes could be counted on for nothing more than some good action and bad tights. But that has all changed. Now the Hulk is a sensitive hero with father issues. Spiderman wrestles with the weight of his own conscience. Iron Man ends up accomplishing the formidable task of saving both the world and Robert Downey Jr.’s drug dealer from bankruptcy. Even a movie like “Unbreakable,” which doesn’t reveal itself as a superhero movie until late in the film, features superhuman characters with real world problems.

This weekend saw the release of the granddaddy of them all, “The Dark Knight.” The second Christian Bale Batman movie has been hailed in some circles as the greatest superhero movie ever made. And while it features people wearing clown makeup blowing stuff up,[i] there are actually some valuable real world lessons interwoven through the script.

There’s a danger in applying the lessons of movies where the main characters wear masks and capes to politics. (Although it’s well known that Russ Feingold occasionally wears a red codpiece on the Senate floor.) Until John McCain saves a busload of school kids from careening off a bridge with his teeth, there’s probably no real comparison. (The chances of this actually happening are really no greater than 10%.)

Yet in “The Dark Knight,” there’s a theme that seems to strike close to home in the 2008 presidential election. In the movie, the public becomes increasingly skeptical of Batman’s vigilante brand of law enforcement. Instead, they credit District Attorney Harvey Dent (played by Aaron Eckhardt) with cleaning up much of Gotham’s crime. Although Batman clearly runs circles around the city’s law enforcement, he is content to accept the public’s scorn and pass the credit to Dent. At one point, Commissioner Gordon observes that “Batman is the hero Gotham deserves, not the one it needs.”

The dichotomy between what citizens “need” and what they “deserve” is essentially what voters are wrestling with in the 2008 U.S. presidential election. In the context of the movie, what voters “need” is a figurehead that makes them feel better about themselves – that the government has things under control. While Dent was a newcomer to the District Attorney’s office, he made citizens feel like he was one of them. And while his accomplishments were mainly devoid of content, he served as Gotham’s avatar for justice.

In this context, Barack Obama fits neatly into the category of the politician we “need.” We need to feel better about ourselves, regardless of those pesky “policies” and “details.” We need someone who represents Hope and Change, despite not having a single idea that hasn’t been culled from the Democratic blueprint. A vote for Obama washes away our guilt over race relations and helps us erase the hangover from an unpopular war. Obama is essentially a political paint-by-numbers book, where the lines are drawn, but we are free to fill in whatever colors make us feel better. (Adding to the comparison is Obama’s proclivity to flip-flop, leading one to believe he might be “two faced.”)

On the other hand, McCain represents the politician we “deserve.” The world is full of maniacal dictators intent on bringing down the United States, and they won’t be allayed by the U.S. sending them a “World’s Greatest Despot” coffee mug. We deserve someone willing to confront America’s international dangers as they are, not as how they are perceived at the NPR offices.

We “deserve” a politician who is willing to talk to us like grown-ups when it comes to earmark and entitlement reform. America is poised for an economic disaster when Social Security, Medicaid, and Medicare bills come due for baby boomers. Yet no one is willing to do anything about it, as these entitlement programs constitute the third rail of American politics. Congressman Paul Ryan of Janesville is pushing his “roadmap” for reforming these programs, but there’s a better chance that Congress declares Prince’s “Batdance” as the national anthem than Ryan’s “roadmap to making granny cry” becoming law.

(Perhaps most importantly, McCain has been known to dress like a rodent and kick his political opponents in the head, which pretty much completes the parallel.)

In November, voters could very well choose the candidate they think they need, rather than the one they believe they deserve. But after our national collective group hug, the job of actually governing remains. By then, it may be too late to send out the Bat Signal.

-July 21, 2008

Madison Welcomes the 2010 Transplant Games

Who knew there was an Olympics for people who have had organ transplants?

Madison has been chosen to host the 2010 U.S. Transplant Games.

The Olympic-style event is expected to attract 1,500 athletes who have had organ transplants and 7,000 visitors. Organizers say it could bring more than $2.6 million to the city.

The location was announced this week after the 2008 games in Pittsburgh.

You can\’t accuse the competitors of not having heart. It just happens to be someone else\’s.

More Favrenalia

With regard to the Packers\’ allegations against the Vikings for tampering with Brett Favre – the AP reports that Favre and Viking offensive coordinator (and former Badger) Darrell Bevell are good friends:

\”The person said the league already has reviewed evidence provided by the Packers, and team officials believe a league examination of telephone records would indicate more than “normal contact” between Favre and Vikings offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, a former Green Bay assistant.\”

Set aside for, a moment, all the jokes about what \”more than normal contact\” means. Here\’s the smoking gun:

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If that\’s not proof, I don\’t know what is.

Today, this came through the wire at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

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Carlene and Duane Schultz thought creating a corn maze featuring Brett Favre\’s image on a Wisconsin farm would be anything but controversial.

The husband and wife said Favre is still welcome at the Schultz\’s Country Barn in Eleva, even though they\’ve received a few grumbling comments after the quarterback said he was considering a comeback and wanted a release from the Packers.

The Schultzes have had mazes created in their cornfield for the past three years and sold tickets for people to walk through it. The couple decided this spring to use Favre\’s image as a \”thank you\” after the quarterback announced his retirement.

Aren\’t children in Africa dying because we\’re in the midst of a corn shortage? Shouldn\’t Duane Schultz be making ethanol or something?

And finally, WisconsinEye recently filmed a few segments of the Joy Cardin Show on Wisconsin Public Radio. (I am biased, as I\’ve been on the show a couple times.) This segment includes a really interesting take by MATC history instructor Jonathan Pollack, who discusses the news about Favre in the larger context of Wisconsin culture. It\’s worth a watch.

Pro-McCain Vigilantism?

Perhaps the most unconvincing trashing of a campaign headquarters ever took place in Viroqua on Tuesday of this week:

VIROQUA, Wis. — Police in Viroqua are investigating graffiti vandalism at the local campaign office for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Someone used red and white spray paint on the plate glass windows of the Obama office on Main Street in downtown Viroqua.

Chief Mark Rahr says someone painted a big red \”X\’\’ over an Obama campaign sign and wrote \”wrong kind of change\” below.

Over the Obama lettering on the front window, someone wrote \”McCain\” in white paint and \”He\’s a vet\” next to it.

Someone also wrote in red paint \”Obama is funded by….\” and the letters become illegible.

Rahr says the vandalism occurred sometime Tuesday afternoon.

Right.

McCain can barely get conservatives excited enough to vote for him – what are the chances of a few being so stoked that they\’d trash Obama\’s headquarters?

Plus, do the profiles of \”McCain supporter\” and \”political vandal\” really match? How did they get away so quickly in their battery-powered wheelchairs? Who at the home left them unaccounted for?

Then again, the vandalism supposedly took place in mid-afternoon. Just in time to hit the 4:00 fish fry.  And the fact that the last shot against Obama went unfinished could be evidence of a short attention span:

\”MCCAIN IS THE BEST….:

…NOW WHERE DID I PUT THAT TOOTHPICK AGAIN?\”

The messages they painted are also somewhat less convincing. \”He\’s a vet?\” \”The wrong kind of change?\” Any conservative hard core enough to trash the Obama headquarters wouldn\’t have been able to resist something like \”OBAMA\’S PLAN TO RAISE TAXES ON CAPITAL GAINS SUX!!!!\”

Needless to say, I am not convinced these were pro-McCain forces at work here. It could very well have been Obama supporters engaging in some chicanery, knowing Republicans would get stuck with the damage. (And likely engaging in a post-vandalism terrorist fist-jab for a job well done.)  Then again, had it been Obama supporters, they wouldn\’t have been able to keep themselves from writing something like \”VOTE MCCAIN FOR ANOTHER 100 YEARS IN IRAQ!\”

Reported Missing: One Quarterback\’s Dignity

So, the people who read this blog regularly (and thank you for doing so, incidentally) have probably noticed that I have completely disappeared for a week. It has been a busy week consisting of snacking, napping, and trying to avoid any discussion of Brett Favre. I\’ve also been plowing through the excellent HBO John Adams series on DVD – although if there were some kind of award for overacting, Paul Giamatti would likely win a lifetime achievement award for this role alone.

However, given that I wrote a blubbering, emotional post following Brett Favre\’s retirement announcement (and followed that up with an equally hagiographic appearance on TV), I feel that I need to provide an update.

I\’m not really sure what I can say about l\’affaire Favre that hasn\’t been said already. But given how heartsick I was when Favre retired in March, it makes it all the more difficult to handle what he\’s trying to pull now. Retired legends only have one thing that matters – their legacy. And it\’s excruciating to watch Favre set his legacy on fire with this disastrous comeback attempt. It almost gives one some perspective on what it might have been like to grow up in Buffalo as an OJ Simpson fan, only to see your hero murder his reputation (and other people) in his retirement. Fortunately, Favre hasn’t killed anyone yet – although I’m close.

One of the reasons Favre has been deified by the media is because he\’s the very antithesis of the character he\’s now playing. He\’s always been a tough, no-nonsense team player. I even explained away his previous offseason Hamlet acts by recognizing his threats of retirement as bargaining chips to get better players. I figured it was a strategy to force management to bring in better players.

But we\’re now finding out that he actually really is as self-absorbed a prima donna as he showed in those offseasons. It’s like finding out Santa Claus runs an underground reindeer-fighting ring. Last night, he threw GM Ted Thompson under the bus by complaining about Thompson not re-signing guys like Marco Rivera and Mike Wahle – both guys who went bust when their reached their new teams. On the contrary, Favre should be kissing Ted Thompson\’s feet for surrounding him with so much talent without wrecking the team with bad contracts. Is Favre better than Aaron Rodgers? Of course he is. But the fact that people still believe the Pack can be a playoff team with Rodgers at the helm is a testament to Ted Thompson\’s maneuvers.

Let\’s get real – the Packers aren\’t trading Favre (if Randy Moss in his prime is only worth a fourth round pick, what is Brett worth for a year or two?), and they won\’t release him. They hold the cards – either Favre tells them he\’s willing to commit to them 100%, or they just tell him to stay home and collect his paychecks for the next three years. Those are the choices. So Brett has to decide whether he wants to drop this pathetic \”woe is me\” act and get himself ready to play. If not, I hope he has the Sunday Ticket, because he\’ll be watching all the games on TV for the next three years.

Sure, people defend Favre because they recognize how much he loves to play the game. But we all knew that when he retired. We all thought that his desire to retire had to be SO STRONG that it overrode his obvious love of playing. But the way he’s whining his way through this comeback is disgraceful – and he’s ripping apart my favorite team in the process. That’s not to say I wouldn’t welcome the sight of him back in a Packer uniform – but if he’s going to string this along with the Brett Favre Pity Fest any longer, he can just stay home and let us all move on. Somehow, I think we\’ll get over it.

Standing Up for Your Right to Dry

For centuries, all men have really wanted is the opportunity to have some woman look at their underwear. We have devised myriad strategies (jobs, cars, combovers, breath fresheners) in hopes of creating just the right moment for a lovely lady to gaze at our drawers. Fortunately for the men of the world, having people look at your tighty-whiteys could now actually save the planet.

Everyone these days is “going green.” Television stations turn off the lights for 30 seconds to convince you that somehow they’re being environmentally responsible. Companies throw the “green” tag on things like cleaning products and bottled water, despite their questionable environmental value. However, some businesses have seen millions of dollars in savings by “going green.” A young professionals’ group in Milwaukee lists a green way of life as one of the top reasons young people would be attracted to a city.

Obviously, if citizens continue to buy bogus “green” products at the same rate they currently are, it won’t do a thing to help the environment. Yet often times, government and nosy neighbors can stand in the way of green activities that actually matter. For instance, local governments and neighborhood associations across the U.S. have declared war on outdoor laundry lines, citing their lack of aesthetic quality. Some environmentalists are starting to rebel, pointing out how much energy it saves to hang your clothes out to dry rather than using an electric dryer. (Plus, many of them need the extra space in their laundry rooms for all the heat lamps and aluminum foil.)

In 2005, according to the Association of Home Appliance Manufacturers, there were 88 million dryers in the United States. Annually, these dryers consume 1,079 kilowatt hours of energy per household, creating 2,224 pounds of carbon-dioxide emissions.

Enter Project Laundry List, a tax-free 501(c)(3) group that claims to be fighting for individuals’ rights to leave their underwear flapping in the breeze. (The group’s website doesn’t show a Wisconsin chapter…yet.) Their website lays out the various state and local ordinances banning outdoor laundry lines, and urges introduction of “right to dry” legislation that protects the environmentally smart practice. (Several states have actually passed legislation pre-empting local governments’ right to ban laundry lines.)

The site also contains testimonials of people who associate laundry lines with the simpler days of yore, when they played in the backyard as children amongst drying laundry. Laundry line advocates also point out that hanging up clothes outside involves physical activity and spending more time outside with your neighbors – things society could use more of. (Then again, in the old days, there was less of a chance of some dirtbag stealing your bra so he could sell it to buy meth.)

Yet neighborhood associations (which rank somewhere between al-Qaeda and rat poison in public favorability rankings) maintain their right to promote pleasing aesthetics within their fiefdoms. They think nobody wants to see their neighbors’ unmentionables in public. (If you knew my neighbors, you’d recognize this as a valid concern.) It has been said that outdoor laundry is seen by some as a “flag of poverty”

This begs a larger question – how involved does government (or a neighborhood association) have to be in protecting us from the horrors of seeing things we don’t like? Government surely isn’t going to come in and force your co-worker to trim his gross nose hair. There’s no reason we need laws to ban us from having to view laundry. If you don’t like the sights, sounds, and smells of the outside world, go live in a bunker.

As in any case of public/private rights conflicts, accommodations can be made. Outdoor laundry can be limited to the back yard, to protect the most sensitive of citizens from having to see a skid mark on their stroll through the neighborhood. Outdoor drying can be allowed on one day per week. There are options here.

Few opportunities arise where people can make a meaningful environmental difference and save money at the same time. Our government just needs to throw us a line.

-July 8, 2008

C.C. You In the Playoffs

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26 years. And now, suddenly, Milwaukee is once again the center of the baseball universe.

At 7:00, I received the following one-line e-mail from one of my friends. It said, simply:

\”I\’m not gay, but I\’d like to kiss Doug Melvin on his mustachioed mouth for pulling this deal off.\”

And that\’s how I found out the Brewers had pushed all their chips to the middle of the table for this season.

I\’ll spare you all the third-rate analysis about whether it was a good deal or not. For all the hot air on message boards by people claiming to know a lot about baseball, nobody will ever really know what would have happened had Matt LaPorta stayed a Brewer. We\’ll never know what the effect of LaPorta being gone will have on other prospects, who might now get a chance to step up. It\’s never just a one-plus-one-equals-two calculation.

But here\’s what we do know for a fact – that Doug Melvin has, to quote my buddy The Gooch, \”balls the size of Jupiter\” for making this deal. And it\’s the lack of certainty I mentioned above that makes this such a great deal. Let\’s say the deal doesn\’t get done and Ben Sheets walks away at the end of the year. For the forseeable future, you\’re looking at some good young starters, but no ace. And maybe you bring up LaPorta and maybe he provides some good offense, but a 30 home run hitter isn\’t exactly what the Brewers need at this point. (They need a leadoff hitter that doesn\’t need a GPS device to find first base, for starters.)

But the scenario that developed today is the way any business should run. If Sabathia helps them make a playoff run, that means more revenue to the team. Packed stands through the remainder of the season and in the playoffs may mean the team can make a competitive offer to Sheets in the offseason. I\’ve seen some suggest that anything short of a World Series victory means the Brewers have had a disappointing system. Let\’s not get ahead of ourselves, here.

Obviously, Doug Melvin wants to win now. But if the Crew can make enough money down the home stretch to put the team in a better financial position to retain their core talent in the next few years (Fielder, Hart, etc.), this will have turned out to be a good deal regardless of how the season ends. (At least that\’s what I\’ll be telling myself when Ben Sheets is attacked by a crocodile on the field and the season goes in the tank in September.)

All night, I kept watching ESPNews, with the bright red \”breaking news\” banner coming on every five seconds. And every time it crawled across my screen, it was as if Jennifer Connelly was whispering it directly into my ear.

\”Indians Trade Pitcher C.C. Sabathia to the Brewers.\”

\”Indians Trade Pitcher C.C. Sabathia to the Brewers.\”

Sadly, my TV did not take the extra step and offer to make me a sandwich.

Plus, it\’s not as if the Brewers haven\’t had good luck dealing with the Indians. Remember, the Brewers relieved the Tribe of Jeromy Burnitz in 1996, in exchange for the rotting corpse of Kevin Seitzer. Burnitz went on to hit over 30 home runs in 4 of his 5 full seasons with Milwaukee. The 35 year-old Seitzer played 86 games with the Indians and retired.

And who can forget July of 2000, when the Brewers sent Bob Wickman, Steve Woodard, Jason Bere, and a signed John Jaha home run ball to the Indians for Richie Sexson? That was such an easy deal that Dean Taylor, who was to general managing what Madonna is to music, was able to pull it off.

So, upon reflection, here are the big winners and losers from the Sabathia deal:

Winner: ME! WOO HOO!

Loser: My wife. With the Brewers competitive late in the season, I might as well be living in a bio-dome in my own basement. Chances of my popcorn bowls making it into the dishwasher just dropped by 50%.

Winner: Tom Haudricourt, of the Journal Sentinel. He was on this story, and was accurate throughout.

Loser: Tom Haudricourt, of the Journal Sentinel. While his reporting was timely and accurate, he actually showed up on one of his own blog comment threads and publicly attempted to fellate himself for essentially doing exactly what a beat writer for a team in the middle of a major trade negotiation was supposed to do. In attempting to shoot down two dopey anonymous commenters, he actually wrote the following:

I don\’t need to ban hayseed whatever or cauleys. They both know I took them to the wood shed and they have to live with it. We are still the only source confirming this deal, as far as I know. I was ahead of it from the very start, saying it would be LaPorta and two lower-level minor leaguers. I shot down all the Hardy and Escobar nonsense and went with the truth. That\’s all I need to know, and I appreciate all those on the blog who know what I did.

Pure class.

Winner: Buster Olney, ESPN. On the above message board, there\’s a lot of mention of who scooped whom when it came to this story. Haudricourt deserves credit for doing his job. But even though Olney may not have been getting a lot of original info on this story, I think it takes a lot of stones to go on national TV and declare the Brewers as the frontrunner in the biggest trade sweepstakes of the year. Every major league team has a beat writer that has their fans convinced that their team is about to trade for Johan Santana or whatever. But it is unique for a national writer to step out and predict something so bold and be right. So good for him – now maybe I can start taking someone seriously who actually refers to himself as \”Buster.\”

(Incidentally, I got a kick out of ESPN continuing to say \”Buster Olney has learned that the Indians have agreed to trade Sabathia to the Brewers,\” well after it had been on the Journal-Sentinel website. Really, Buster? You \”learned\” that secret piece of information? Did you \”learn\” how to use the internet at about 6:00 tonight?)

Loser: Tom Oates, Wisconsin State Journal. Just last week, Oatsey gave us a column explaining how C.C. Sabathia was out of the Brewers\’ reach. A few days later, when it started to look like the Brewers actually were in the running, he tried to cover his tail with a column explaining why the team needed Sabathia NOW! Just more evidence that the only requirement for writing a sports-related column at the State Journal is the ability to turn on your computer and type complete sentences that don\’t reference genitalia.

Winner: Inebriation. If the Crew makes it to the World Series, it\’s going to be a Brew Town Throwdown. Believe that.

Loser: Former Brewer Eric Young, ESPN. When asked about the trade, \”EY\” decided he had some reservations, for the following reason: Sabathia is left-handed, and the Cubs have a lot of good right-handed hitters. Brilliant observation, since the Cubs and Brewers only play a handful of times the rest of the year. Actually, I think Sabathia is around to help the Crew in the remaining 80 games, not necessarily the sprinkling of games against the Cubs. But now that the precedent has been set, I demand to know what Franklin Stubbs thinks about the trade.

Oh, and make sure you go vote for Corey Hart for the all-star team. I probably voted 50 times already. And I didn\’t even need the DNC to buy me cigarettes. Plus, there has to be at
least one creepy flesh-colored beard in the All-Star game. So follow the link below.

And here\’s an interview with LaPorta from a month ago:

The “Fiscal Wake Up Tour” Hits Wisconsin

Yesterday, I headed down to Discovery World on Milwaukee’s lakefront to catch the Concord Coalition’s “Fiscal Wake Up Tour.” The Coalition is made up of members of both left-leaning and right-leaning national think tanks who all agree that federal entitlement programs and government debt are going to swallow us whole in the decades to come if nothing is done to rectify the situation. Their panel was joined onstage by fiscal dreamboat Congressman Paul Ryan, whose “Roadmap for America’s Future” attempts to deal with the looming budgetary apocalypse.

For some background on the issue, watch this outstanding “60 Minutes” piece on former U.S. Comptroller General David Walker, who is heading up the Coalition’s education effort:

The panelists each made their case for changing the way government handles its entitlement plans, so the programs can remain fiscally solvent for our children. Each provided powerpoint presentations to make their points. They can be viewed here:

Saving Our Future Requires Tough Choices Today,” By David Walker, President and CEO of the Peter G. Peterson Foundation

Fiscal Wake-Up Tour Introduction (PowerPoint Presentation),” By Robert Bixby, Executive Director, The Concord Coalition

The Budget and Entitlements: Time to Take Action (PowerPoint Presentation),” By Stuart Butler, Vice President for Domestic and Policy Studies, The Heritage Foundation

Since members of the coalition have different ideological backgrounds, naturally they didn’t completely agree on the measures necessary to remedy the budget imbalance. Alice Rivlin of the liberal Brookings Institution advocated for some targeted tax increases to boost federal revenue. Some of the conservatives conceded that a future plan will likely see a mix of revenue increases and spending constraints. Even Paul Ryan’s plan contains some provisions to raise revenue, which drew him a sharp rebuke from a Libertarian in the crowd, who called his plan “the Communist Manifesto.” During question time, Ryan also earned a harsh rebuke from a liberal in the crowd, which had people squirming in their seats. (And me considering crying and yelling “LEAVE PAUL RYAN ALONE!”)

Each panelist agreed that Social Security was going to be a lot easier to fix than Medicaid and Medicare. Social Security, while a big program, has a straightforward formula that sends money to recipients. In order to control costs, the remedies are clear.

Health care, on the other hand, is infinitely more complex. In order to control health care costs, you have to get a handle on a number of things – most of which, lawmakers can’t agree are actually causing cost overruns. Is it too much competition (duplication of services)? Is it not enough competition? Is it people not having the incentive to take care of themselves? Is it government not spending the money wisely?

It appears that video of the event will be available on WisconsinEye at some point, and I’ll link to it when it goes up.

My only complaint of the day was that it was held right next to Summerfest, which made parking impossible. According to the panel’s estimates, by the time I parked and walked to the event, the federal debt had increased by $100 trillion. They should have just consolidated venues and put the Fiscal Wake Up Tour on one of the Summerfest stages. Then again, the tour’s groupies might have gotten out of hand, as they normally do.

ANNOUNCER: “MILWAUKEE! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY?”

CROWD (TOGETHER): “WE WANT SOCIAL SECURITY SOLVENCY! AND MORE BEER! PREFERABLY MORE BEER, IF WE’RE BEING HONEST ABOUT IT!”

More Women Mad at Me

It appears I have kept my decades-long streak of displeasing the ladies alive.

Today, the League of Women Voters issued a release critical of my column of last week, where I argue that trying to make legislative districts \”electorally competitive\” actually gives Assembly Democrats an eight-seat head start come election time. Otherwise, African-American votes are diluted and civil rights litigation hilarity ensues. In effect, this gives Democrats an eight seat \”handicap,\” a golf metaphor that appears to be lost on Andrea Kaminski, the author of the LWV release.

In their release, the LWV argues… well… actually, I\’m not exactly sure what they\’re arguing. Their main talking point seems to be that I don\’t have anything to write about. They\’re probably right in that respect. Maybe we can set up a public debate where we argue the merits of my workload. Other than that, they don\’t seem to make any point that refutes anything I said in the column. For the sake of clarity, let me boil it down:

  • When you make electoral competitiveness a standard for legislative redistricting, it is impossible to make inner-city districts competitive. Doing so would require diluting the African-American vote, a strategy of segregationists.
  • As a result, there are at least eight Assembly districts (and at least two Senate districts) that will be exempt from the competitiveness standard. This gives Democrats an eight-seat head start in legislative elections.

Ms. Kaminski reiterates her support for having an \”independent\” board drawing district lines, since the Legislature can\’t be trusted to do so. In fact, the courts actually set the boundaries every decade. The Legislature generally writes their plan, then it goes to court, where judges eventually draw the lines. It has been this way in every redistricting since at least 1974.

In any event, I am honored to now be Public Enemy #1 over at the League of Women Voters. They are welcome to get in line – it forms on the left.

Bucks Select Caucasian: World is Right Again

In June of 2005, with the impending selection of Andrew Bogut with the #1 pick by the Bucks, I put together the team\’s \”All White Stiff\” team. It looked like this:

Paul Mokeski
Randy Breuer
Jack Sikma
Larry Krystkowiak
Fred Roberts
Brad Lohaus
Frank Brickowski
Danny Schayes
Mark Pope
Joel Pryzbilla

I left off Toni Kukoc, as he was European and didn\’t count. And I\’m happy to announce the addition of Jake Voskuhl to the list. My fingers were crossed that they\’d snag Brian Butch with their second round pick.

\"\"In any event, the Bucks returned to their roots tonight with the selection of Joe Alexander. I actually think it\’s a really good pick. We keep hearing about what a great athlete Alexander is – I watched plenty of his games this year, and I think he has a lot more vertical athleticism than lateral. But near the end of the year, he was one of the best players in the country. He carried West Virginia through the Big East tournament and through a couple NCAA tourney games in impressive fashion. It also appears that he plays with a bit of a mean streak, which I\’m always a fan of. I specifically remember him making a block during the NCAA tournament and glaring at the guy whose shot he threw.

Of course, I think the Bucks\’ best work was done earlier in the day, when they traded Yi Jianlian and the corpse of Bobby Simmons to the New Jersey Nets for Richard Jefferson. RJ will give them some athleticism and defense at the small forward position, as well as some decent scoring punch. I had thought getting rid of Simmons\’ horrible contract would be near impossible, but John Hammond managed not only to pull it off, but get an all-star in return. Those of you who read my draft night meltdown last year may remember that I\’m not a fan of Chairman Yi, so I\’m not shedding any tears that he\’s gone.

And there\’s no chance the Bucks are done dealing. Defensive dead weight like Charlie Villanueva is as good as gone. With the Bucks in desperate need of a pass-first point guard and a guy like Kirk Hinrich out there to be had, it only makes sense that Hammond would make a play there. Sure, they could have drafted a point guard, but guys like Bayless and Gordon are in the Mo Williams mold – and DJ Augustin is a midget.

Other draft night observations:

It was a bad night for Travis Diener. Not only did the Indiana Pacers trade for T.J. Ford to run the point, they traded for Jerryd Bayless to back him up. Diener actually played quite a bit for the Pacers last year, and did a serviceable job when Jamaal Tinsley got hurt. Now it\’s pretty clear he\’ll be looking for a new team.

ESPN went on and on and on about how they were setting draft \”records\” for all the freshmen being taken in the first round. First of all, draft \”records\” are completely meaningless, so it boggles the mind that they would spend so much time talking about them. Secondly, it\’s the second year of the requirement that players play in college for a year, so all the players that would have skipped college before are now freshmen. So of course there are going to be more freshmen drafted. ESPN owes me a half hour of my life back.

Can Jay Bilas discuss a draft pick without discussing someone\’s wingspan? What on God\’s earth does that have to do with anything? At one point, he tried to talk up Virginia guard Sean Singleton by saying he had a longer wingspan than Allen Iverson. Really? Then he must be a Hall of Famer, too.

The extra attention the Knicks get simply because the draft takes place in New York has got to stop. Yes, we know their fans always boo their pick. Yes, we know the team stinks. But this attitude that somehow New York fans \”deserve\” a winning team simply because they\’re in New York is complete nonsense.

How easy is \”foreign correspondent\” Fran Fraschilla\’s job? Just plug a player\’s name into these sentences: \”[NAME] is really young, but he\’s got a lot of raw ability and the [TEAM WHO DRAFTED HIM] are going to be able to stash him away in Europe for a couple years while he gets better.\” That\’s pretty much it. For EVERY foreign player. Pretty soon, Europe is going to be the favorite place to hide for seven footers and serial killers.

The person I feel most sorry for tonight? Dominic James. Just think – at about midnight tonight, he could have been celebrating being the first pick in the Developmental League draft.

Handicapping the Wisconsin Legislature

Wouldn’t it be great if life were a lot more like golf? We’d all benefit from the thrill of competition, we’d learn good sportsmanship, and we’d all get to enjoy the great outdoors on a daily basis. (In my case, I get to enjoy nature more than most, as I’m usually hitting out of a bird’s nest.) And best yet, if you’re a terrible golfer, you get a “handicap,” which levels the playing field by letting you shave strokes off your final score.

(Perhaps most importantly, any situation where it’s acceptable to wear plaid pants in public is okay in my book.)

The whole concept of making things fair by allowing for a handicap would be welcome in real life. All your friends would be uglier than you, so you’d look better by comparison. People would only be allowed to talk about books you have read, so you could dazzle them with your insight. You could walk right into your new job, declare yourself a substandard worker, and thus be allowed to do half the work of your colleagues. (One of the ironclad rules of the workplace – never do anything well the first time, because if you do, you’ll get stuck doing it forever.)

Apparently, Democrats in the Wisconsin State Legislature feel the same way about “leveling” the playing field in elections. Or at least they pretend to – in actuality, their plan for “fairness” in legislative redistricting is a naked attempt to provide themselves with a redistricting handicap, which would guarantee Democrat majorities for the foreseeable future.

The whole idea of fairness in redistricting and creating competitive districts has become a hot topic among “good government” groups, who are displeased with the idea of allowing legislators to set the boundaries of their own districts. Groups like the League of Women Voters and the Wisconsin Democracy Campaign have lobbied for legislation to set up an independent panel to set legislative districts. In 2006, the League of Women Voters issued a survey for candidates that asked this question:

4. YES OR NO: Do you support and would you vote for legislative measures making electoral competitiveness a legal or constitutional standard that must be applied by the Legislature and the courts in establishing state legislative and congressional district boundaries?

Clearly, they are dissatisfied with the current makeup of the State Legislature and think there’s a better way to draw legislative districts. They think that the districts are rigged by the incumbent lawmakers that redraw them every decade. They think that somehow, the state Constitution should be rewritten to make “electoral competitiveness” the standard when drawing new districts.

In the 2007 session, they got their wish – Democratic Representatives Fred Kessler of Milwaukee and Spencer Black of Madison introduced a constitutional amendment (AJR 63) that sets up an independent board to write new districts and creates a standard of “fairness” that most districts will have to reflect.

So making all the districts in the state competitive sounds like a good idea, right? Then, more races will be contested, and democracy will flourish, correct? There’s only one problem with this theory: The Voting Rights Act.

In 1965, Congress passed the Voting Rights Act, which guaranteed the right to vote for all citizens. The Act was a response to Southern separatists, who responded to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 by making it more difficult for blacks to vote.

For the past 40 years, the U.S. Supreme Court has continued to mold the meaning of the Civil Rights Act. One of the problems encountered by the courts has been that of “vote dilution,” used by segregationists to lessen the influence of black voters. These segregationist lawmakers would gerrymander districts to make sure only a sliver of black voters were present in each district, which guaranteed no minorities could be elected to office, and would “dilute” the efficacy of minority votes.

To address this nefarious tactic, the courts have ruled that wherever possible, minority representation must be present. The goal in redistricting has to be keeping minority voters together as a community. To that end, where there are majority-minority populations, there must be an opportunity to elect a minority to office. Of course, minorities, especially African-Americans, disproportionately vote for Democrats. Thus, in heavily black areas of Milwaukee, you find a lot of black Democrats that hold office. Here’s a map of downtown Milwaukee Assembly districts:

Of the inner city Milwaukee districts, look at the solid block that are represented by African Americans or other minorities: the 16th (Leon Young), 18th (Tamara Grigsby), 10th (Polly Williams), 17th (Barbara Toles), 8th (Pedro Colon), and 11th (Jason Fields). Additionally, these districts are represented by African-Americans Spencer Coggs and Lena Taylor in the State Senate. Of course, all of these minority representatives are Democrats, and represent heavily Democratic districts.

Now try to imagine drawing a map where each of these districts are “electorally competitive.” Think of how you could take these 90% Democratic districts and gerrymander them so they are each 50% Republican. You would essentially have about ten to fifteen districts made up primarily of the suburbs that pick off just a little sliver of inner city Milwaukee. The effect of this type of gerrymandering? Vote dilution.

Trying to make these districts “electorally competitive” would fracture the African-American community into little sections, where it would be increasingly more difficult to elect black representatives. I’m not willing to say that any of the current African-American representatives couldn’t be elected in majority white districts, but Wisconsin has yet to elect a minority in any district without a strong minority presence (Bob Turner from Racine, for instance). So the end result of the League of Women Voters’ plan to equalize districts would actually be to end minority representation in the state.

Not only would this be unlawful (as determined by the courts) it wouldn’t pass the test of public decency. Of course, what the League really wants to do is make heavily Republican districts more competitive. But in order to do that, you have to move the Republicans somewhere, and they would have to go into districts that cause problems with equal rights case law. Since Republicans continue to win seats in both state houses, they figure something must be wrong with the process of drawing districts – it’s obviously rigged.

Enter the Kessler/Black constitutional amendment, which makes an exception for majority-minority districts. The bill says:

[Article IV] Section 3 (2) Within 120 days after receipt of the final census report of the population count by census block, the legislative technology services bureau shall submit to the state redistricting board 3 apportionment proposals providing for competitive elections, all meeting the following criteria:

[…]

(b) African−Americans, Hispanic Americans, Native Americans, and members of any other demographic group protected by the laws of the United States shall be the voting age majority in the number of assembly and senate districts in proportion to the percentage of the population in counties or groups of counties having a sufficient geographic concentration of their members.

Translation: All districts have to be competitive, except for the ones that are majority-minority, which (rightfully) can’t be touched. If you consider the six Assembly districts currently represented by minorities, then add in a couple more that could very easily be represented by minorities, you’re essentially giving Assembly Democrats an eight-seat handicap going into every election. (Kessler’s district probably should have a minority representative, but he was helped by his guest spot on rapper Jay-Z’s last album.) The bill does nothing but rig elections to favor Democrats, pure and simple.

This is just another example of interest groups either not thinking through the implications of their policy positions, or making a blatant power grab, engineered by the state constitution. Who ever thought the League of Women Voters would advocate undermining the Voting Rights Act? Someone call Tiger Woods.

Burning Up Your Airwaves

Here\’s the audio of me on Wisconsin Public Radio discussing 3rd party candidates. I was at the Memorial Union Terrace last night, so you can tell I start off a little groggy.

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