Balanchine. Nureyev. Baryshnikov. All masters of the dance. But no more.
In my never-ending quest to make sure my son can never get a date, here\’s a video of him perfecting the most fluid and poetic of dances – the chicken dance. This is first in a long history of him performing this dance at weddings, Brewer games, and possibly one day the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts.
You know it was a tough Packer loss when you\’re still mumbling to yourself in anger on your way home from work the next day. I mean, it would have made too much sense in the second half to run an offense that got you to 4-0 in the first place, right? Must be hard to call plays with both hands around your throat.
After the game ended (okay, well, after I stopped swearing) I realized something strange. Before the season, I got Madden 2008 for the PS2. I played a season with the Packers, and started out 4-0. At that point, I was chuckling, saying \”yeah right.\” Then in game 5 against the Bears, the Packers lost their first game. Here\’s proof:
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So I\’m thinking there might be some supernatural at work here. There\’s actually a 90% chance I am controlling the Packer season through my video game console. The good news is, the Packers took care of business next week against the Redskins and against the Broncos after that.
Tickets may be purchased to watch me play the remainder of the season for a mere 50 bucks. For the ladies, I will play shirtless for an extra 20.
I caught this ridiculously fawning Parade Magazine article about Brad Pitt yesterday, where he purports to be some worldwide philanthropic crusader. It was unironically titled \”I Have Faith in My Family.\” Says Pitt:
\”I do it because I\’m a member of the human race. In Africa you see people on the street dying from AIDS, children left without parents. We\’re all cells of one body, with the same emotions and desires for our families—for a little dignity and a chance for a better life. Let\’s focus on that! I believe in the founding principles of America. I want to fight for that. I know most Americans feel the same way.\”
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Some of you may have seen that the band Radiohead is offering up their new CD via dowload free from their website. They ask that you pay whatever you feel like to obtain the new disc – essentially a contribution of sorts.
As I am a Radiohead freak, I thought I would take advantage of this offer. (The \”York\” in \”Dennis York\” was an homage to lead singer Thom Yorke, just spelled differently.) And to show my appreciation for the offer, I figured I would contribute 10 bucks… what I would normally pay for a CD. I am all about showing my appreciation to bands I like.
The only problem is, their offer only allows you to contribute in British pounds, not American dollars. Easy enough – I went to the old handy-dandy currency converter to figure out how much 10 bucks was. As you look at the chart from left to right, it shows that one American dollar is worth roughly two pounds. So I put my order in for 20 pounds, which would be 10 bucks. Right?
Actually, it would have been helpful if I read the chart correctly – down, rather than left to right. Actually, it\’s the complete opposite of what I thought: 20 pounds equates to 40 American dollars. So I have now paid 40 bucks for a CD I could have downloaded for free-ninety nine. Hooray for me!
The lesson here, as always, is that I am a complete idiot. No wonder my Russian mail-order bride cost so damn much….
SIDE NOTE: If you could maybe not tell my wife about this, that would be fantastic.
Check out the ad for these flip-flops by Adidas. It claims that merely by wearing these shoes Fitflops) around you will:
They are shoes. The only way they will help you reduce cellulite is if you actually eat nothing but the shoe itself over the course of a month.
My wife and I recently juggled our work schedules around to accomodate some child care issues. Namely, we decided that I would be watching my 2 year old son on the occasional morning.
Little did I know that part of the package deal would be that I would also have to do the grocery shopping with my little man it tow. It occured to me that I haven\’t actually been grocery shopping since I got married six years ago. Until now, I just put stuff on a list, and it just miraculously showed up in my refrigerator.
So the boy and I went to Woodman\’s today, and I was completely lost. Seriously, if I were ever elected to anything, there would be a horrifying George H.W. Bush is-out-of-touch scene, like when he went to a grocery store for a photo-op and had no idea what a scanner was.
What I didn\’t realize, though, is what a ladies\’ man my kid is. Every woman that walks by gets a giggle and a \”hello.\” He makes funny faces just at the right times. In fact, the girl at the checkout area said she recognized him, and he helped her take all the groceries out of the cart.
Naturally, it wasn\’t entirely perfect. Being with a 2 year old in a grocery store is like being with a wolverine in a phone booth. He managed to rip open a box of cereal bars and throw my keys into a freezer of frozen pizzas.
But I\’m throwing the offer out there to single guys – you can take him shopping, and you\’re golden. The only price I ask in return is that you actually keep him until he\’s 12 years old.
jk lol!
I think everyone knows by now that police officers of all departments look out for their own. To think that they all have to follow the same laws as you or me is just naive.
However, this website seems to cross the line. It is a site dedicated to ratting out police officers who dare to issue tickets to other officers. It attempts to shame them by publishing their names, in the hopes of dirtying their reputation. All for insisting officers abide by the law.
The most disturbing passage is the first, from Illinois (big surprise there):
I really didn\’t mind the ticket once I knew I was getting one. I\’ve written thousands and is it really that bad?? The thing that bothers me is 1) she showed no respect for me. All the years I have worked, the different units I\’ve been on, the shitheads that I have arrested didn\’t mean squat to her. I\’ve given breaks before for people doing 19 miles over the limit. I have even let one go for doing 150+ on LSD. She didn\’t know this and that\’s the whole idea! She should have given me the break knowing that I go out there everyday and risk my life. I wouldn\’t have given her a ticket!
So wait… he let a guy driving 150 MPH on LSD off the hook? And he thinks this is a reason he shouldn\’t get a speeding ticket? Like, anything that falls short of that should be permissible since he let it go?
Certainly it builds camaraderie amongst cops to have their own code. It\’s silly to think they won\’t look out for their own. But whining about getting a speeding ticket and threatening those officers with citations if they ever come into your area doesn\’t look good. It gives the people already skeptical of police power even more ammo to think there\’s a conspiracy against them.
Seeing this headline at ESPN.com instantly provoked a lot of questions with me:
PETA says Vick took, passed course on preventing animal cruelty
Exactly what kind of \”course\” teaches you how not to torture animals? Is this part of a Master\’s degree program at UWM?
Here\’s a tip for lesson number one: If what you are doing results in dogs being drowned or electrocuted, it is probably animal cruelty.
Who are these people that attend this class? Can I take it and get a certificate as a registered non-dog torturer? I think that would look good on a resume.
Apparently this link has been flying around the Wisconsin Capitol offices today. It matches your answers to a few questions up with the presidential candidates\’ positions, which gives you a cold calculation of which candidate you should favor most.
I\’m a little skeptical of quizzes like these, since I think a lot of candidate positions are too nuanced to be pigeonholed into a three word summary. In the case of Mitt Romney, his position depends on the state in which he happens to be running at any given time. But the results are interesting, and should make for good conversation fodder.
So I\’ll shut up and just let you take the quiz.
(Tapping foot, waiting…)
Okay, done?
Here\’s how I came out: McCain, Brownback, Thompson. Joe Biden was higher on my list than Mitt Romney. Dennis Kucinich was higher than Obama, Edwards, Dodd and Clinton (as I am with Kucinich on Marriage, Death Penalty, and Immigration). Contrast this with a guy like Tom Tancredo, who likely supports the death penalty for married gay immigrants.
Not all that meaningful, but interesting. Should give you an idea of which candidates you may favor based on style rather than substance.
\”If you don\’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.\”
-Mark Twain
The press has been going on and on about how much damage Wisconsin\’s late budget will do on the state. In fact, the greatest damage a late budget does is inflict more and more bad reporting on our citizens.
Yesterday, a local Madison television station aired a report on the late nature of state budget negotiations. The Wisconsin budget is now 93 days past due, although spending continues as it would under the previous budget. The reporter noted that other states have measures in place to punish lawmakers who drag their feet in the budget writing process.
She then turned to \”nonpartisan\” media Golden Boy Mike McCabe of the Wisconsin Democracy Campaign to explain why the budget is so late in coming:
McCabe said that lawmakers\’ fundraising is also partially to blame.
\”I think the most powerful thing that we could do is ban campaign fundraising during the budget process because I guarantee you, if they couldn\’t raise campaign money right now, they\’d have a budget done,\” said McCabe.
The fundraising-during-the-budget angle has been a common theme among media outlets during the budget process. It is also the most ridiculous explanation for the late budget. Yet no member of the media – not one – apparently is willing to debunk this obnoxious boiler-plate argument.
First of all, there isn\’t going to be any downside from the late budget. I know it sounds crazy – but the last thing you\’re going to hear from any media outlet is \”the budget is late, but continuing ongoing funding will mitigate the impact over the next two years, so there will be little effect on taxpayers.\” Instead, they need to convince you that you should flee your house immediately, as the late nature of the budget will cause your roof to cave in within the next 15 minutes.
The fundraising argument also allows news outlets to avoid actually having to do real reporting on the issues within the budget. If it\’s all a matter of corruption, why even bother reporting on actual funding and the efficacy of state programs? That takes time and research.
In fact, the reason the budget is late is primarily because Senate Democrats took one day to inject the budget with a $15.2 billion universal health care plan, then refused to move off their position. There was no way the budget ever had a chance of passing with that monstrous tax increase in it. Even Governor Doyle opposed it. There were clearly other positions taken by Republicans that were untenable to Democrats. That\’s negotiation with a divided legislature.
Let\’s take a look back at the last couple of budgets when the legislature was divided between Republicans and Democrats. The modern tactic of holding fast on your position seems to have been born in the 1997-99 budget, which didn\’t see final passage until September 29th. The next budget featured an epic staredown between Senate Majority Leader Chuck Chvala and Assembly Speaker Scott Jensen. A final vote took place on October 6th – but even then, the budget work wasn\’t done. A trailer bill authorizing a large sales tax rebate to taxpayers was passed on November 11th of 1999.
In 2001, the budget passed fairly quickly, as it contained something for everyone – including the new $50 million Seniorcare program, and $500 million in increased school aids. The budget passed on July 26th – nearly a month behind deadline, but rather quickly when compared to the previous two budgets.
In 2002, control of the Senate flipped to the Republicans. While budget fights weren\’t always smooth, the houses got together and passed the 2003-05 budget on June 20th and the 2005-07 budget on July 5th. Of course, the Senate went back to the Democrats in 2006, which leaves us at the current budget impasse.
A couple of points here: Exactly what happened when budgets were being passed in late September, October, and even November in the \’90s? Nothing. Nobody\’s still talking about the horrors of 1999, when bridges started falling apart (as Governor Doyle has recently threatened will happen, in a stunningly crass talking point). Mike Huebsch and Judy Robson both know nothing will happen, so they continue to hold out. When the budget is done, it\’ll be time to watch the Packers play the Lions on Thanksgiving, and nobody will even remember what happened.
Secondly, this seems to be irrefutable proof that late budgets are caused by split parties, not by some kind of inherent corruption within the system. If holding the budget over the heads of prospective donors worked, why did the Republicans pass budgets so quickly in 2003 and 2005? Couldn\’t they have soaked their donors for a little more by dragging the budget on for a lot longer? In 2001, you don\’t think Chuck Chvala and Scott Jensen could have prolonged the budget process to extract more cash? Is it even possible they were actually able to compromise on issues in that instance?
Furthermore, what would a ban on fundraising during the budget even do? As far as I can tell, lobbyists have Blackberry PDAs. Those phones have calendars on them. If you take the good government groups at their word and accept that legislators are trading laws for cash, how hard would it be to circumvent this prohibition? It would only take the following utterance: \”Thanks, Senator for that piece of special interest legislation. I will now go light up my cigar with a hundred dollar bill and program a reminder into my Blackberry to give you a wheelbarrow of cash as soon as the budget is passed.\” And there you have it – prohibition evaded.
In fact, the most galling part of the entire charade comes back to McCabe himself. For years, McCabe has decried the influence of special interests on the legislative process. During the budget, he has traveled the state at trumped-up \”public hearings\” to push for the universal health care plan in the Senate Democrats\’ budget. In fact, these hearings were sponsored by a group that may have broken the law in coordinating their advocacy with state lawmakers. Then he has the nerve to suggest that the budget was being held up by corruption? When his special interest (which doesn\’t disclose its donors) was out pushing for the single biggest item holding up the whole budget process? And he\’s complaining about the influence of special interests in delaying the budget? It\’s beyond preposterous.
And yet the poor Channel 3 reporter simply had no clue. People tell her stuff and she puts it on the air. Reporters (especially the television variety) aren\’t paid much, and frequently change stations. Their expertise tends to be in reporting, not in understanding how the state budget works or who the biggest hypocrites in the state might be.
I hate to pick on this one reporter, as she seems like a very nice woman. But her ridiculous report mirrors those across the state during the budget, from people who should know better. Mike McCabe tells her some stuff, and she puts it on the air, unquestioned. Jim Doyle says Seniorcare won\’t be able to fund prescription drugs for seniors, and she reports it as fact. Except it\’s not even close to being right.Â
Seniorcare has a base budget of $155 million, which it will continue to receive until a new budget is passed. While the new budget may have an increase in it, $155 million should be enough to tide the program over until new funding is decided within the next couple of weeks. Not a single single senior will lose a cent of their benefits. But you may have noticed that Governor Doyle didn\’t say something like \”single mothers won\’t be able to get their child support checks,\” since the severity of the imaginary tragedy is directly proportial to the likelihood of the aggrieved party to vote.
As was the case in 1999, this imaginary budget \”crisis\” will be forgotten within weeks. But the shoddy reporting will remain, ready to misinform you about the next big legislative issue facing the state.
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