I mentioned a few months ago that one of my favorite things to do was to go to used bookstores and just browse around the old books there.  I don\’t even necessarily intend to buy them most of the time – I just like the look and the tactile feel of used books.

But there is a downside to spending a lot of time browsing through books for more than 10 minutes.  Your neck starts to hurt like hell.  Since books are stacked horizontally, you have to crank your head to the right, nearly touching your ear to your shoulder.  And after a while, it feels like your head might get stuck there permanently.  I\’m sure people have needed years of physical therapy to correct this chiropractic disaster.

So here\’s what I\’ve come up with:  If I ever own my own bookstore, we\’re going to have movable carts that customers can lie on horizontally, and my dedicated workers will push them around to look at books.  Naturally, the carts will expand or contract in order to accomodate the height of the shelf.  As usual, blended fruit drinks will be available for an additional cost.

Here\’s the first schematic of my invention that I\’ve drawn up.  The \”customer\” is represented in this blueprint by actor Pat Harrington Jr., otherwise known as the plumber \”Dwayne F. Schneider\” from \”One Day at a Time.\”  I thought this made the drawing a little more realistic, since I can\’t think of any reason why he wouldn\’t be a regular patron.


Or I could just stack the books vertically, I suppose.