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When we\’re paying the guy $10 million a year, you\’d sort of hope your new star closer doesn\’t blow a three run 9th inning lead against your most-hated rival in his Brewer debut.

Assuming Eric Gagne appears in 75 games this season, today\’s gagged save just cost the Brewers $133,333. But then who even knows if we\’ll get that many games out of him since there is always the possibly he\’ll get a suspension for (allegedly) enjoying an HGH daiquiri or three.

Anyway, congratulations to the Brewers for overcoming this latest bout of bullpen incompetence to both beat the Cubs and keep themselves on pace for 162-0.

And my condolences to northside suds-enthusiasts, as Wrigley Field won\’t be able to serve bottles of beer this season since the Cubs lost the opener. Zing!

UPDATE:

E-mail sent to me during the 9th inning:

\”After you blow a 3-0 lead in your first game as Brewer it might be a good idea to MOVE YOUR FAT ASS and cover first base on a ground ball hit deep down the line to your first baseman.

Oh, and tuck in your shirt, you fat frog. And shave off that stupid homeless man beard.

One more thing, start taking drugs again.

And one final note, I hate you.\”