Christian Schneider

Author, Columnist

Attention Horse "Lovers"

If you were questioning the value of the new Sundance Theater here in Madison, a new movie showing there should put those concerns to rest. According to the synopsis of the movie \”Zoo,\” it is \”a look at the life of a Seattle man who died as a result of an unusual encounter with a horse.\”

\"\"Ummm….that \”unusual\” encounter with a horse happens to be him having sex with the horse. I\’ve had many \”unusal\” encounters with women, and sadly few of them ended with sex (they usually end with her calling the Dairy Queen manager to get me out of the store). I suppose sex with a horse isn\’t unusual… if you happen to be another horse. However, there\’s not much change of horses going to this movie, seeing as how they refuse to pay $4.50 for popcorn.

That leaves humans, which will be able to pay $11.50 for the privilege of seeing this high-brow work of art, described thusly in the Yahoo review:

Visually, the film is quite beautiful, and flows across the screen with a dreamy, ethereal quality. Scenes are often shaded in deep violets and midnight blues, and the many shadowed, slow motion shots move as though underwater.

Oh yeah, and it\’s got a guy banging a horse.

Final thought: Did he have to buy the horse dinner? Oats and an apple is pretty cheap. \”Is that a carrot in your pocket?\”


  1. Mr. Pelican Pants

    June 12, 2007 at 8:11 pm

    Ick. I’m sure Kathy Falk is doing her tribal dance over this one.

    Reminds me of the 80s song by Laid Back: White Horse…don’t ride the White Horse.

  2. How about for a double-feature they show “Grizzly Man” as well.

    If one wants encounters with animals, nothing shows that like a guys own footage of himself getting mauled to death by a bear.

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