Christian Schneider

Author, Columnist

Author: Neville Barksdale

Going to make millions.

York requested that I run our new business idea past his readership. He would do it himself but I think he\’s under a desk somewhere. (Take that whichever way you will. I can\’t stop you.)

Anyway, I\’m convinced that this idea is pure genius. Recent studies suggest that consumers are frustrated and confused by the widespread availability of outerwear vests. Further research reveals that the #1 complaint of young people ages 18-25 is that their limbs are too cold & their core too warm.

It took a pair of bloggers to figure out what was missing. The answer: Simply Arms. An entire store dedicated to selling nothing but sleeves.

\"\"Simply Arms will probably sell sandwiches and beverages as well. Simply Soup does it so its obviously cool with DATCP and the FTC. I\’m feeling pretty proud of this idea. I think I\’ll have a beer.

RPS. Think about it.

I\’m still working on that stoplight post York requested but there are just so many other things to talk about. So many things.

But what I really want is to give York\’s readers something to think about this weekend. You have to think on the weekends too. To keep your mind nimble and bendy.

So why not think about Professional Rock Paper Scissors:

Now…I\’m not one to criticize. I once purchased a textbook on arm wrestling. (It was worth it. I\’ve never lost to a girl). But lets move on. Stop looking at me.

There are apparently a variety of legitimate strategies involved in RPS if you know what you\’re doing. And it is clearly a very sexy sport (as evidenced by the partial boob in the above logo).

But seriously…should we really allow people to compete professionally at just anything? If we let the camel\’s nose under the tent on this one, pretty soon EVERYONE will be a professional of one sort or another. And then what will we call the people with actual talent? Anyway, think about it.

pressure to perform

Hm. So I’m excited for this chance to stand in Dennis York’s shoes for a day or two. Incidentally, his shoes are damp. Very dubious indeed.

Before leaving on blog vacation, York left me with three simple instructions. In his own words:

1. “Just be yourself.”
2. “Don’t say anything about my enormous earlobes.”
3. “Your first post must be about stoplights. You have to bring it.”

I don’t want to let the man down so I have spent much of my evening collecting data on traffic signals and the susceptibility of ferrets to European bat rabies. Er…except not that last part.