Christian Schneider

Author, Columnist

Author: Christian (page 31 of 81)

Jim Doyle\’s Got 99 Problems (but GM Ain\’t One)

A friend told me about this, and I honestly didn\’t believe him.

Last week in Janesville, Jim Doyle stood at the podium before hundreds of General Motors workers who had just found out that the plant will be closing in 2010. The pain in the room was evident, as the workers flanking Doyle onstage openly wore their disgust on their faces.

Doyle began his speech expressing outrage at General Motors, and threatening \”revenge\” against the company. He continually praised the workers, who had done nothing to deserve their fate. (We\’ll set aside, for a moment, the fact that Doyle\’s plan to raise gas taxes by 7 cents per gallon could have hastened the demise of the plant.) Then, to fully ameliorate the pain being felt in the room, he pulled out a quote from one of our great philosophers: Rapper Jay-Z.

In an attempt to say the workers had been \”flicked aside,\” Doyle tried to use The Jigga Man\’s \”Dirt Off Your Shoulder\” as an excuse to make the now-famous gesture. He immediately tried to catch himself, understanding what an absurd statement he just made. But this is why I fear public speaking so much – I\’m afraid I\’m going to say something this stupid in front of an open mike. And in doing so, Doyle may have inadvertently set race relations in Wisconsin back 30 years.  Father Michael Pfleger\’s references to black culture were actually more comfortable than this.

To see the video, click here and fast forward to the 25 minute mark. I\’d pull the clip off and put it on YouTube to make it instantly viewable, but WisconsinEye\’s warnings have sufficiently spooked me into thinking they\’re going to sue me for a hundred million dollars if I do so. (Then they\’ll team up with INTERPOL to come get the backup copies of my DVDs.)

If one asks how in the hell Doyle knows that Jay-Z song, remember that Barack Obama used the same gesture to respond to attacks by Hillary Clinton. Except there were two stark differences: Obama actually used it in the correct context, and Obama looked like a smooth mother doing it. (Shut yo mouth!)

Since the readership of this blog likely doesn\’t even know who Jay-Z is, here\’s the video for \”Dirt Off Your Shoulder.\” Warning – there\’s explicit language, but it\’s necessary, as it exposes how ridiculous it was for Doyle to use it in such a somber context.

And here\’s a video of Obama\’s \”Dirt off Your Shoulder\” reference that\’s good for a chuckle:

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

How Jim Doyle Can Save Wisconsin’s Republican Party

With the state weary from a long, drawn-out war overseas, one of Wisconsin’s political parties was taking a beating at the polls. The party’s national elected officials had gone to war seven years previously, and voters were demonstrating their displeasure at the ballot box. The party, which had strayed significantly from its traditional values, was a mere afterthought in Wisconsin government, and appeared to be sinking even lower.

Then Jim Doyle showed up to save it. Not the current governor, the other one.

The year was 1948, and Democrats in Wisconsin were foundering. German voters, who had traditionally been Democrats, had fled the party due in large part to Woodrow Wilson’s declaration of war on Germany in 1918. (At the time, many of Wisconsin’s Germans were still foreign born, and had ties to the homeland.) While German Americans in Wisconsin were very much in favor of U.S. involvement in World War II, the war reinforced their desire to stay away from the Democratic Party. The Progressive Party in Wisconsin was nearly extinct, and many of its members were returning to the Republican Party, from whence they came in 1934.

By 1948, it had been sixteen years since a Democrat had won the Wisconsin governorship (former Madison Mayor Alfred Schmedeman, who served only one two-year term). Even worse, Democrats won only three Wisconsin gubernatorial elections in the previous 73 years and had been in the minority in the State Senate and Assembly since 1893. For four straight legislative sessions (1923-1929), there were no Democrats in the Senate. The 1925 Assembly featured 92 Republicans, one Democrat, and seven Socialist Party members.

In May of 1948, several upstarts within the Democratic Party met in Fond du Lac to chart a course for a new, revitalized party. Among the attendees were Jim Doyle Sr., Ruth Doyle, Horace Wilkie, and Gaylord Nelson. The “Young Turks,” as they were called, formed the Democratic Organizing Committee (DOC), with the intent of circumventing the traditional, more conservative (and largely ineffective) Democratic Party leadership. In doing so, they began planting the seeds for future Democratic success in Wisconsin. Their dream came to fruition in 1957, when Bill Proxmire won the U.S. Senate seat previously held by Joseph McCarthy prior to his death. A year later, Gaylord Nelson won the Wisconsin governorship.

It was the plan formulated in the nascent years of the DOC that precipitated Wisconsin eventually becoming a state where Democrats could once again succeed. Doyle, Nelson, Patrick Lucey, and others worked tirelessly to organize county parties and recruit members, which was a tough task for a party that had been struggling so mightily for so long. As Doyle famously once said, “There are places around the state where it takes courage to be a Democrat. The few professed Democrats are like the early Christians. They feel as though they should hold their meetings in the catacombs.”

It is now 2008, and another of Wisconsin’s major political parties in on the ropes. Wisconsin Republicans are still feeling the backlash from a long war, just as Democrats had in 1948. The party has largely lost its identity, with voters unable to differentiate its platform on taxes and spending from that of the Democrats.

If there’s any good news, it is that Wisconsin Republicans aren’t in anywhere near as bad shape as the Democrats were in 1948. While the war is still unpopular, it doesn’t offend the national pride of any voting bloc in Wisconsin politics. (This type of mass defection is unlikely to happen to the Republicans unless John McCain declares war on the Green Bay Packers.) The Assembly is still Republican, but by a shrinking margin. Republicans in the Senate only need to pick up two seats to retake the majority that they lost in stunning fashion in 2006.

Yet even if Republicans were able to buck the odds and regain majorities in both houses, nobody really expects any shift towards fiscal conservatism. Wisconsin citizens will see that the Republican Party is currently propped up on a rotting foundation, set adrift with few principles, and no platform on which to stand.

What Wisconsin Republicans need to do now is to follow the DOC blueprint for revitalizing the party. If that means a group of talented insiders get together and plot the overthrow of the current leadership, then so be it. It won’t be easy work, and certainly the national GOP zeitgeist will affect the amount of change that can be felt at the state level. The reason Democrats in Wisconsin are such a formidable foe is because of the efforts of a handful of individuals determined to breathe life into their party’s corpse. So it can be done, and the future of the Republican Party in Wisconsin depends on it.

When the new GOP braintrust gets together, here are some suggestions for a blueprint back into the majority:

BUILD AND BREAK CONSTITUENCIES

When Democrats built themselves into a majority in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s, they did so by consolidating existing constituencies and building new ones. Labor unions banded together within the Democratic Party, and former Progressives found the party much more to their liking. Perhaps most importantly, they recognized what effect the expansion of government dependency would have on their base. Democrats recognized the fact that when more individuals received a check from the government, those individuals would become Democratic voters. They would continue to support the party that would keep the checks rolling in. As government grows and grows, so do the fortunes of those chained to a government check – so the built-in constituency will always be there to lobby for Democrats.

Republicans don’t have to stand on the sidelines in building constituencies for their programs, and constituencies don’t have to be built solely on government handouts. Getting people hooked on tax incentives and less government regulation can resonate.

For instance, the GOP needs more people to become dependent on programs that employ free market principles, to make sure voters know such programs can succeed. Last week, the Wisconsin State Journal highlighted a charter school set up to teach Native American children their traditional Ojibway language and culture. Charter schools are a perfect example of how educational choice can empower parents to direct how they want their children to be educated. Just because a program is conservative, it doesn’t have to benefit fat, cigar-chomping white guys.

Additionally, Milwaukee shouldn’t have a monopoly on school choice – it should be a topic statewide for two reasons: First, so out-state school districts and parents don’t see it as the enemy of their kids’ schools and cheer for its demise. Second, because as it becomes a state issue, more momentum statewide will grow, laying the groundwork for more educational choice in areas other than just Milwaukee. School choice is one of Wisconsin’s crown jewels, and should be discussed by Republicans statewide.

However, school choice is only one area where the GOP can create a new statewide constituency. Health Savings Accounts have been around as an issue for a decade, but Republicans seem content to allow HSAs to twist in the wind as a merely theoretical issue. The longer that happens, the more skepticism people will have that they can actually work. Where’s the Republican plan to give all state employees HSAs instead of the traditional budget-busting health coverage? Why aren’t they telling everyone who will listen that the best way to show that HSAs work is to build a market with the 70,000 state employees? That would be a pretty good start – and for the naysayers that think the unions would never let that happen, ask the unions what they think of the Qualified Economic Offer (QEO), which restricts teacher salaries. It can happen.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Building a permanent GOP majority means going where the voters are and locking them down as Republican voters. For the GOP in Wisconsin, that means heading west.

For the political nerds living in the Milwaukee-Madison corridor, the picture of Wisconsin is clear; Madison is liberal, Waukesha is conservative. For the most part, those two counties should cancel each other out. That leaves the rest of the state to offset liberal Milwaukee. Green Bay and the Fox Valley help Republicans, while areas like Stevens Point and Wausau favor Democrats.

This analysis ignores a sleeping giant in Western Wisconsin that should be fertile ground for the GOP in the years to come. St. Croix County is the fastest growing county in the state, and is solidly Republican. It’s difficult for people to picture, but one day St, Croix will be the Waukesha County of the west. It is a Twin Cities suburb in the same way Washington and Ozaukee Counties are Milwaukee suburbs. It would be a huge mistake for the state GOP to ignore the growth potential in that area of the state. Lock down the growth areas, and that means more GOP voters statewide in the years to come.

Furthermore, more attention need be paid to Southwestern Wisconsin. This is an area that was once solidly Republican; yet lackluster leadership and disinterested elected officials have now handed the lower half of the 3rd Congressional District over to the Democrats. While their GOP state senators and representatives may have been able to do enough constituent service to keep them in office, those days are long gone as the population continues to slip out of their grasp. The area needs a dynamic Republican representative who is actually interested in selling the statewide GOP message, rather than merely pushing parochial bills to stay in office. There’s no better indicator that people are willing to vote for a Republican than the fact that they actually used to.

TRIM THE WEEDS

A concerted effort should be made to cut the dead weight out of Wisconsin’s contingent of GOP elected officials. A senator or representative who sits in a solidly Republican district and does nothing with it is an albatross around the neck of the state party.

In this respect, primaries can be an invaluable tool in the quest for a more vibrant GOP statewide. In fact, “Fighting Bob” LaFollette championed primaries primarily because he knew he could wrest control of the Republican party away from the conservatives in the 1890’s. Through LaFollette’s liberal (and often vindictive) use of primaries, he was able to shape the GOP in the Progressive image throughout the early 1900s. And it can be primaries once again that should be used to trim the noxious weeds from the ranks of the GOP elected officials.

This doesn’t necessarily mean a district needs the most conservative representative. Certainly, an elected official needs to fit the district in order to ensure election in the November general election. It doesn’t make sense to run a conservative against a moderate if it means that seat is going to go Democrat in the general. But a moderate Republican willing to be active in promoting the statewide GOP message is infinitely more valuable to the effort than one who introduces one bill per session, and who might get around to doing a press release if someone noteworthy in their district dies.

The party cannot sit idly by with do-nothing Republicans hogging seats in areas where a vibrant newcomer could freshen the party’s image. These seats have to be viewed not as what they are, but as what they could be. Plus, they are a farm system for major state offices in the future. (For instance, the 1950 Legislature had four future governors in its ranks, as well as two future U.S. Senators and the mother of a future governor.) Representatives who sleepwalk through their jobs in these valuable seats are clogging the arteries of the future GOP circulatory system.

REPUBLICAN AFFIRMATIVE ACTION

Fair or not, voters pick candidates they are comfortable with. More and more, these voters are growing increasingly uncomfortable with white males. The minorities that currently vote Republican do so primarily because they don’t like other minorities, not necessarily because they trust white guys to do the right thing.

There are minorities out there that share the GOP message of limited government, low taxes, and family values. And women have been dropping quickly in the ranks of Republican elected officials. An effort should be made to recruit them to run for office, and they should quickly move to the front of the line in GOP leadership. And if they get better committee assignments or party support than a deserving white legislator who’s been in office for a decade, so be it. Get over it, whitey.

Think about it – in order to become a majority party once again, the GOP needs new voters. And where is the growth in new voters going to come? It’s going to come in the minority groups that are growing more quickly. If Republicans stick with caucasians to pull the freight, the party will be infinitely disappointed as their base shrinks. And the best way to convince minority voters that the GOP is a safe place for their vote is to prove it through their slate of candidates.

Furthermore, we have seen recently how much attention minority candidates can draw. Set aside the media love affair with Barack Obama. Look at Bobby Jindal in Louisiana – the guy gets elected as governor ten minutes ago, and before my hot pocket cools off, he’s already mentioned as a serious Vice Presidential candidate. This isn’t because Jindal is necessarily a political genius – it is because he represents the changing face of politics. A change the GOP desperately needs if it seeks to grow its base.

(As a side note, women and minorities deserve to be elected for reasons other that just making Republicans look better. Thought that should be mentioned.)

MORE SPREADSHEETS

Exactly what is the Republican message in the upcoming state and national elections?

Anyone?

Can any Wisconsin resident name a single accomplishment of the GOP in the past two years?

Naturally, Republicans are at a disadvantage when taking credit for certain governmental “achievements” (which may actually be an oxymoron.) It is easy for Democrats to say they “funded drugs for seniors” or “supported expansion of the Stewardship program.” Simple and direct. Republicans have to explain what governmental initiatives they blocked, and why we’ll all be better off because of something they have denied us. Of course, a detailed explanation of the role of market economics and how free trade makes our lives better is usually out of the question. Personally, I would much prefer eating a burrito right now over a conservative telling me how Milton Friedman’s theories enable me to one day have the freedom to purchase my own burrito. Dude, I’m hungry.

Yet, as George Will has recently said, conservatives have one thing going for them. Market-based conservatism is the truth. And, as difficult as that may be, that truth has to be made understandable. The longer people are allowed to be told that gas prices are going to fall if Barack Obama doesn’t accept money from oil companies, the longer the GOP will flounder with voters. The basic fact is this: students aren’t being taught economics in school. State and local Republican parties have to break down the door with a message of financial literacy.

Furthermore, Republicans should be the party willing to talk to voters like grown-ups. We can handle it. Being against bogus campaign finance reform proposals doesn’t make you look like you’re pro-corruption. It makes you look like you value free speech. Cowering from the inevitable critics of allowing private Social Security accounts doesn’t gain you any votes – it makes you look like a spineless coward.

Wisconsin Republican Congressman Paul Ryan has led the way in this regard, with his recent plan to pull the U.S. out of fiscal insolvency by recognizing the entitlement disaster heading our way. The longer the state is willing to fix its budget woes with gimmicks and deferred obligations, and as long as Republicans are willing to accede to such nonsense, the party has no ground on which to stand when the fiscal apocalypse comes.

Of course, getting Republicans statewide to coalesce around any one message is like stapling Jell-O to a wall. But having more willing carriers of the message (See point 3) will help immeasurably.

LEGALIZE MARIJUANA

Do this, and the state goes GOP overnight. Instead of being motivated to go to the polls, half of the City of Madison will be motivated to watch I Love Lucy reruns, eat Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch, and nap.

***

None of the Young Turk Democrats in 1948 thought their party’s turnaround was going to be immediate. Young Democrats like Jim Doyle, Sr. drove from county to county to rebuild the party from scratch. (A feat that would be a lot less possible if his son’s proposal to raise the gas tax by seven cents had been in effect in 1948.) They had to patience to plant the seeds, and put in the hard work that eventually made them a force in Wisconsin politics. The GOP should thank Doyle for his blueprint.

-June 9, 2008

Helpful historical sources for this commentary include “Wisconsin Votes,” by Robert Booth Fowler, and “The Man from Clear Lake: Earth Day Founder Gaylord Nelson,” by Bill Christofferson.

Someone Get This Party Started

Over at the main WPRI site, I have posted my treatise on what Wisconsin Republicans can do to turn the party around.  The blueprint for political success was written by someone that may surprise the GOP.

Read it here.

Teach the Children Well

When I submit my application for 2008 Parent of the Year, this story will be at the top:

On Friday morning, I walked into my 4 1/2 year old daughter\’s room to wake her lazy bones up for school. I started to shake her gently until she opened her eyes, rubbed them with the back of her hand, and said:

\”Daddy, Ben Sheets is pitching today.\”

When you\’re a male and your first child is a girl, there is always an unspoken worry that you might miss out on the days of bonding with your hypothetical son over sports. Of course, girls can enjoy sports too, but you always know the father-daughter sports dynamic is going to be different. Even in the toughest days of my relationship with my dad, we could always talk about the Brewers or Packers. The most quality time I ever spent with him was in our front yard, playing catch. (One time, we were tossing around a Ben Oglivie ground rule double I had caught, and it went in the sewer.) To this day, when I call him, that\’s primarily the focus of our talks, and likely will be until the day one of us dies. (Ironically, my death will most likely be caused by the Packers or Brewers.)

\"\"But, as it turns out, my daughter is way more into sports than I was as a 4 year old. Most of this is because of her day care.

At some point, a parent has to realize that your kids are going to learn things at school of which you may not approve. That\’s the balance you strike when you pay someone to take your kids off your hands for a few days a week. (It has often been said that one of the great joys of parenting is spending time away from your children.)

As it turns out, one of my daughter\’s day care teachers is a HUGE Packers/Brewers/Badgers fan. (Rumor has it there\’s also a pro basketball team in Wisconsin, but I haven\’t been able to find any evidence of it on the internet.) And this teacher is passing on her love of all things Wisconsin sports to my daughter and all the other kids in her class. Some days they even have \”wear your Brewer gear to school\” day. (My girl proudly wears her Prince Fielder t-shirt, as she still has questions about Ryan Braun\’s ability to hit the change-up.)

Naturally, I approve of this. In fact, if my daughter learns to love the Brewers and Packers in place of learning math or science, I might be okay with that. Love of sports will last her a lifetime. She\’s got plenty of time to learn to read. In fact, if I can push off her being able to read this blog for an extra couple years, that might be a good deal.

But consider the flip side of this whole sports indoctrination process. What if I was a Cub fan and my daughter was being taught to be a Brewer fan at school? What if I was living in Chicago and the day care teachers were holding \”wear your Brian Urlacher jersey to school\” day? (I don\’t have to worry about offending Cubs or Bears fans, as they are unlikely to be able to read this post.) I seriously might complain to the school. I think an immediate parent/teacher conference would be in order.

This might be sacrilege to say, but I think I would actually be more offended if my daughter was being taught to be a Viking fan than if her school was inculcating her with Hinduism or something. At some point, my kids are going to be going to Madison public schools and be subjected to preposterously liberal classrooms. I can handle that – but I couldn\’t possibly handle my child wearing a Fukudome jersey. Never. Ever. Never.

In the meantime, I am psyched about taking her to her first Brewer game. I believe my first one was in 1980, against the Yankees. I also went to the game in 1982 when Rickey Henderson tied the all-time steals record against the Brew Crew. Hopefully, when she walks into Miller Park, she won\’t have to wait until she\’s married with kids to witness a playoff berth.

Rooted in Socialism

If you go to enough conservative events, eventually you\’re going to hear the \”S\” word bandied about. Inevitably, someone will warn of the impending doom if the \”socialist\” Democrats take over. While I\’m certainly sympathetic to the cause, I generally to bristle at these attempts to tie modern Democrats to the murderous regimes of Lenin and Stalin. Nancy Pelosi\’s reconstructed visage may break my HDTV, but I\’m guessing she\’s not going to steal and murder my children.

In any event, if any state has a history of being friendly to socialism, it is Wisconsin. Milwaukee famously elected three Socialist mayors in the first half of the 20th Century – a feat unique to large American cities. The State Senate and Assembly often housed members of the Socialist Party in the \’20s and \’30s – in some years, there were more Socialists than Democrats. Yet while they were socialist in name, rarely did they govern as Socialists in practice. (Much of this is detailed in Robert Booth Fowler\’s excellent new book \”Wisconsin Votes.\”)

It\’s even more interesting when one examines the modern Democratic agenda and its roots within the Socialist movement of the early 1900\’s. For instance, look at many of the current Democratic talking points: We have to tax excessive oil profits. We have to tax hospital profits. Insurance companies are charging us too much, so we should have government take over health care and tax business to pay for it.

If these sound familiar, it\’s because these attempts to \”tax the profiteers\” have been around for the entirety of Wisconsin\’s history. And predominantly from the Socialist Party.

Check out this campaign flier from Socialist Party candidate for U.S. Senate Candidate Victor L. Berger, in which he vows to \”Tax the Profiteers.\” (Photo courtesy of the Wisconsin Historical Society\’s Online Collection)

\"\"

Again, this doesn\’t mean modern Democrats and the vile European Socialist Regimes are married to one another. But at the very least, they are pen pals.

SIDE NOTE: Berger, who was one of the founding members of the Socialist Party in Wisconsin, had a phenomenal public career. From his Historical Society biography:

Berger was elected the first Socialist member of Congress and served from 1911 to 1913. He was reelected in 1918 and 1919. Congress excluded his seat on grounds of sedition, a charge for which he was sentenced to a 20-year prison term. The U.S. Supreme Court reversed this decision in 1921. He was allowed to take his seat when reelected in 1922.

Me, Environmentalist

So I was in the public library today. (Yes, they still allow me to check books out there, even though this column put me on the Dewey Decimal Mafia hit list.) As I approached the checkout desk (wearing a disguise*), I noticed a sign that said the library was \”going green\” by not printing out receipts if the patron requests it. So I proudly announced my environmentalism by declaring that I didn\’t want a receipt. Coincidentally, the book I was checking out was \”The Story of My Boyhood and Youth\” by John Muir, which meant the universe was briefly completely in order.

I have long thought that receipts are the great environmental issue of our era. I was at Panera the other day getting a single sandwich, and they printed out three receipts, two of which I got to keep. Go buy a CD at Best Buy (as if anyone does that anymore). Do I really need a three foot long receipt? And no, I don\’t want to go to your damn website and fill out your damn online questionnaire and get a dollar off my next purchase. Basically, I just want something that proves that I bought the CD there, and lets me return it for store credit after I burn it to my hard drive. Can I get an Amen?

Hopefully, my anti-receipt position has bought me enough carbon credits to continue swearing at the people who bike to work in front of me. Next up, I will take on the excessive use of bagging small items.

*My disguise was frowning excessively.

Congress: Asking the Probing Questions

In case you were under the impression that Congress isn\’t hard at work, a new U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO) report demonstrates otherwise. According to the new GAO study conducted at the request of Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK), condom manufacturers have been inadequately labeling their products, giving people a false sense of security when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases. You know, for all those people that read the condom boxes when they\’re conspicuously buried under a pile of gum, soda, and shoe polish up at the cash register.

So sayeth your federal government:

FDA reviewed studies on the relationship between use of male latex condoms and STDs and determined that existing condom labeling did not provide complete information about the effectiveness of condoms in preventing the transmission of certain STDs.

[…]

Among other things, FDA noted that condoms provide less protection against HPV, which can have multiple routes of transmission, than against certain other STDs. However, FDA found that condoms, when used correctly and consistently, can be effective in reducing the risk of transmission. Based on its review, FDA found limitations in existing condom labeling and identified several areas in which improved labeling would help provide reasonable assurance of condoms’ safety and effectiveness.

What the report fails to point out, however, is that condoms can lead to a greatly increased likelihood of your friends hi-fiving you. Seriously – who out there believes that sexual contact of any kind, condoms or not, doesn\’t contain some risk of STD transmittal? If there are people that believe that, they are likely to be the same people that don\’t use condoms because they might get an STD by using one.

I can save the federal government the millions of dollars it likely cost to conduct this nine month study. Here\’s my suggested alternative warning label:

\”WARNING: MAY LEAD TO TEMPORARY AWESOMENESS, FOLLOWED BY DEEP, LASTING REGRET AND UNWANTED PHONE CALLS\”

What Being on TV is Like

Admit it – at some point, you’ve been sitting at home watching some talk show or game show, seen a guest on the show, and said “I can do better than that dope.” Then you start thinking about how everyone would love you if some network only gave you a chance to show how smart and charming you are on the air. Well, I’m here to say – it doesn’t quite work that way.

I got the call on Tuesday that Charlie Sykes wanted me to be a guest on his show that airs Sunday. The show tapes on Friday, so I’d have to drive from Madison to Milwaukee on Friday afternoon.

The second I agreed to it, I started feeling like I was having stomach ulcers. I was thinking this could be a complete disaster. If you ever wondered what TV would look like if they just dragged people off the street and asked them to be political commentators on television, this would be a good example. I started thinking of things I could say about whatever topic might come up (we don’t get the list of topics until Thursday afternoon, in case something late breaking happens.) I pieced together some stuff on Michelle Obama, Senator Roger Breske’s retirement, and other stuff. When I finally got the topic list, I started focusing on oil prices, Paul Ryan, and Michael McGee.

Now, I’ve been doing my little 90-second editorials on Wisconsin Public TV for over a year and a half now, but this was going to be entirely different. I’d have to make a statement, then have a follow-up response ready. I actually researched old shows to get a feel about what certain panelists might say about certain issues.

I got to the studio and met Jeff Fleming, Mykel Holt, and Ken Lamke. All were really nice guys, and welcomed me to the show. Lamke had actually heard of me, which kind of surprised me. We wandered over to the set, which seemed a little bigger than I thought it would be. Charlie took about 20 seconds to explain to me where to look at the camera, and reiterated that this show was as low-pressure as it gets. Of course, that may be true for the show’s regulars – once you have a track record of doing the show, you might be able to get away with making a mistake – but if you’re me, this show was going to be my first impression. And if I screwed up, people would think (or know, as the case may be) that I’m an idiot.

When the cameras started rolling and Charlie started talking, it suddenly turned completely surreal. I mean, here’s a show that I watch every week, with the same panelists I see on TV. And now, I’m sitting in one of the chairs, looking at these guys with the lights on. It’s almost like being in one of those exhibitions at Disney World that provide the “American Idol experience” or something. I was part of the “Sunday Insight” experience.

Right off the bat, Charlie came to me for a question. I immediately realized how hard this was going to be. I was trying hard to remember the quotes I had come up with beforehand. But your mouth starts moving, and you know words are coming out, but you can’t be entirely sure of what you’re saying. Your brain is thinking about everything other than what you’re saying. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the monitor out of the corner of your eye, and you think, mid-sentence, “can I possibly be that fat?” Right in the middle of one of my first points, it dawned on me that all four other guys on stage were staring right at me – and I stumbled over one of my points as a result. As I had predicted before the show, I was sweating like a whore in church.

We got through the oil price question, then the Paul Ryan topic, then moved on to the Michael McGee subject. This is where I bungled the question. In researching the topic beforehand, I couldn’t really think of anything else to say that hasn’t already been said about McGee. And when I’m writing, I think some of the best points I make are when I either look a couple steps ahead, or look back a few steps to figure out how we got here. I tried to do that with this topic, just to make an original point, and I flopped. I think it’s a reasonable question to ask how these inner city corruption cases are going to be handled under an Obama Department of Justice, especially since race tends to be a defense in many cases (as it will be in McGee’s.) But you only have about 15 seconds to make your case, and I stumbled doing so – and so by trying to make an original point, I ended up making one that just didn’t fit the discussion.

We finished up with the Winners and Losers section, and I think I did pretty well. My “losers” pick may have been a little more ribald than they’re used to, but I thought it was a funny topic, and it dealt with government. It spurred a lot of on-set discussion afterwards among the panelists, too.

While I was nervous before the show, I wasn’t nearly ready for the nervousness I would feel in the period between filming the show on Friday and Sunday when it aired. You go back and think about all the things you said and what you could have done better. It’s easy to be hard on yourself, because only you know all the great points that you were prepared to say, but didn’t get a chance to. (For instance, during the oil price discussion, I was wondering how Herb Kohl would feel about eliminating all the laws that keep milk prices artificially high. If we were paying as much per gallon for milk as we are for gas, he\’d be the happiest guy alive.) You just have to cross your fingers that the audience actually likes the things you did actually get a chance to say.

I was actually surprised at how little time you actually have to make your points. The show is probably actually only 20 minutes of air time, and when you subtract the opening sequences, Winners and Losers, and Charlie’s questions, there’s probably about 15 minutes of actual discussion among the five panelists. And when you divide that among three topics, you get about a minute per issue to make all your points.

So, lessons learned. If I’m ever asked back, I should do a little better. (Some of my early Public Television appearances were beyond rough, but I got the hang of it.) Fortunately, I was able to alleviate my stomach ulcers with a delicious Kopp\’s cheeseburger on the way home.

When the show goes up online, I\’ll link to it here. But I\’m not sure how long it will be before I\’m actually able to watch it.

Beyond the Pale

With Memorial Day approaching, I happened to catch this press release issued on Friday by the Democratic Party of Wisconsin. Its title:

\”John McCain Doesn\’t Support Wisconsin Troops and Veterans.\”

Honest to God – how dare they. Let me repeat – HOW DARE THEY.

When Rachel Strauch-Nelson (the contact person on the release) spends six years being beaten to within an inch of her life by the Vietnamese, then she may be qualified to even use the words \”John McCain\” in a press release. I understand that Barack Obama himself made this a talking point, but even he should be embarrassed about this ridiculous attack. It\’s even more embarrassing when it\’s made by a bunch of political hacks barely out of college.

In fact, here\’s veterans\’ affairs expert Strauch-Nelson herself (right), during her time working against the gay marriage constitutional amendment:

\"\"

I\’ve been in politics a long time, and I\’m aware that a lot of these garbage press releases are written by 20-somethings looking to get a cheap press hit. But this is simply beyond the pale. If the Wisconsin Democratic Party wants to attack John McCain for his views on health care, or the environment, or whatever, then they are free to do so. But saying a former P.O.W. \”doesn\’t care about veterans\” is simply indefensible. And it speaks more about the staff at DPW than it does about John McCain.

(Side note: I love it when Democrats accuse McCain of being \”weak on the economy.\” He\’s weak on the economy because he sides with the Democrats too often – such as when he opposed President Bush\’s tax cuts. But since he was attacked during the primary for being bad on the economy, liberals have picked up this talking point as their own – without realizing they\’re criticizing their own policies.)

Beware of Big Sausage

This weekend in Madison marks the return of Bratfest, hailed as the \”world\’s largest sausage festival\” by the organizers at Sentry. Every year, the festival raises thousands of dollars for charity by selling Johnsonville tube steaks.

This, however, doesn\’t please some people. From the \”Community Comments\” section of the Cap Times this morning:

lib05 says:

I strongly urge people to not participate in brat fest.

Johnsonville brats are served there. I know it is a Wisconsin company, but Johnsonville has membership on WMC board….remember those folks that unapologetically purchased our last two supreme court justice races?

Johnsonville endorsed the campaign tactics that have marred Wisconsin\’s reputation and labeled us as having unfair elections…….

Good grief. I suppose that guy is posting those comments using a computer made out of hemp and hugs.

Hitting the Airwaves

I have been invited to be a panelist on \”Sunday Insight With Charlie Sykes\” this Sunday morning.
Hopefully, there\’s no tradition requiring hazing for the new guy, like making me not wear pants or something. I\’m pretty nervous about the whole deal, but I suppose it\’s better than not being on TV, right?

I have informed the producers that they may need to set aside three minutes at the end of the show for Charlie to publicly dis-invite me from ever participating in the show again.

Heat Seeker

Al Qaeda is on the march, but we\’re using our heat seeking aircraft to c-block this guy:

Naked pilot, flight attendant arrested in woods

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) — An airline pilot was found hiding behind a shed wearing only flip-flops and a wristwatch as a nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant ended with both under arrest, police said.

Jeffrey Paul Bradford, 24, and Adrianna Grace Connor, 24, both employees of Pinnacle Airlines Inc., were at a diner on the outskirts of Harrisburg on Sunday night before they apparently decided to walk into the woods, police said.

\”They told the officer they wanted to go do it in the woods, essentially,\” said Lower Swatara Township police Sgt. Richard Brandt. \”That\’s the best answer they had.\”

The two somehow became separated, and people who live in the neighborhood summoned police around 9:30 p.m., saying they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman.

A helicopter with heat-seeking equipment was called in, and Bradford was discovered hiding behind a shed shortly before midnight.

\”Uh, captain – I see two small blue objects in the infared.\”

Livin\’ in America

I\’m laying down the marker right now – if I\’m ever arrested for shooting a gun at my wife\’s car, there is a 100% chance that this is how I answer those charges:

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

The Grand Old Patriarchy: Whither the Republican Women?

This one’s for the ladies.

On September 10th of 2002, I was in my car on the way to the Peggy Rosenzweig for Senate victory party. Rosenzweig, a moderate Republican incumbent who had spent 20 years in the Legislature, was being challenged in a primary by the more conservative Tom Reynolds, who had previously run for Congress several times. I called ahead to one of her campaign staffers to see how the party was going. “Turn around,” he said. “We just lost.”

The early 2000s were good to GOP women. In 2002, the majority of Republican state senators in Wisconsin were female. In January of 2003, Mary Panzer became the state’s first female majority leader. Margaret Farrow became the state’s first female Lieutenant Governor in 2001. In 2002, 12 women held Assembly seats. Yet Rosenzweig’s loss was a harbinger of things to come. (A full list of women who have served in the Wisconsin Legislature can be found here. A full list of women who won’t answer my daily e-mails can be found here.)

In 2008, the landscape for Republican women looks entirely different. With the retirement of long-time Republican State Senator Carol Roessler, the number of female senators has dwindled to three – five fewer than held office just seven years ago. And of those three that remain, two (Sheila Harsdorf and Alberta Darling) are priority targets for the Democrats in the upcoming November elections. With the announced retirement of three female representatives, the Assembly is down to six Republican women. Not since my debut as a Chippendale’s dancer has an establishment seen so many women fleeing the premises. (I used to run on stage nude, while women threw money at me to put my clothes back on. It was lucrative, to say the least.)

During this year’s state Republican Convention, Wispolitics.com took a straw poll of potential GOP candidates for both governor and U.S. senator. There were zero female names on the list, despite names like Rick Graber, Mark Neumann, Scott Klug, and Tim Michels making the cut. High profile female legislators like Kitty Rhoades (the chair of the Legislature’s most powerful committee) and Leah Vukmir (chair of the Assembly Health Committee) weren’t even considered. With all due respect to Neumann and Klug, neither of them have held elected office in a decade. Exactly what does one have to do to get their name off the Republican VIP list? Would two decades do it? Perhaps the GOP should just dig up the skeleton of Lucius Fairchild and run him in 2010.

Some would suggest the dwindling number of GOP women is a conspiracy by the “old boys” network to keep “the ladies” out of power. The fact that primaries were run against Rosenzweig and Panzer, both moderates and both defeated by men, gives these conspiracy theorists the ammunition they need. It more likely speaks to the general impression, whether fair or not, that Republican women tend to be more moderate. The fact that Rosenzweig and Panzer were challenged likely spoke more to voters’ frustration over spiraling taxes than the fact that they were women. But the liberal stereotype attached to their gender probably didn’t help them in their heavily conservative districts.

It is perhaps more likely that, with the Legislature’s approval rating hovering just between “warts” and “arsenic,” more women are just deciding that they have better things to do than jump on a sinking ship. After her election in 2002, State Senator Cathy Stepp quickly grew tired of the endless meetings and pointless time-wasting that occurred at the Capitol. As the owner of a private business, Stepp was frustrated by the inefficiency of the legislative process, which cost her time at home with her young children. Near the end of her tenure, she would pass the time on the floor of the Senate by playing pranks on her colleagues – such as the time she went desk to desk, shocking her fellow senators with a pack of trick electric gum. Stepp left the Senate after serving just one term.

Furthermore, it’s not as if Democrats don’t have their own issues with their female legislators. When the 2007-09 biennial budget passed the Legislature, Senate Democrats immediately dumped their majority leader, Judy Robson, citing the need for “more direct” leadership. Robson immediately charged sexism, believing some of her colleagues simply didn’t want to be led by a woman. (In a blog post, Stepp actually agreed that gender played a part how Robson’s leadership style was portrayed.)

However, Democrats have a slightly better record retaining their incumbent females. When a woman Democrat leaves the Legislature, they’re usually moving up, not out. For instance, Gwen Moore and Tammy Baldwin both left the Legislature to become Wisconsin’s first two female U.S. Representatives. Republican women such as Terri McCormick and Jean Hundertmark left the Assembly to run for higher office, yet both were unsuccessful. As mentioned, Margaret Farrow moved up to become Lieutenant Governor, but her stint with Governor McCallum lasted about as long a trip to a Chinese buffet.

Many conservatives would argue that whether they elect women or not is irrelevant – they want to see a legislator who is more in tune with their vision of smaller government and lower taxes. And if that costs them a moderate Mary Panzer in favor of a more conservative Glenn Grothman, then so be it. In the end analysis, your property tax bill doesn’t care whether your legislator has a Y chromosome. You owe what you owe.

While this point is incontrovertible, it sets up a false choice. Being conservative and being a woman aren’t mutually exclusive. There are women in the Legislature who are conservative and perhaps should be given more of a pulpit to enhance their statewide visibility. And the GOP should be out recruiting more women who can appeal to their right wing base. As mentioned before, when a female legislator does something that strays from the party line, it tends to stick to her more than it would one of her male counterparts. Conversely, many Republican women face harsher Democrat criticism for taking principled conservative votes because they’re “voting against women’s interests.”

Female legislators have flaws, just like male elected officials. And while a representative’s gender is meaningless when it comes to their voting record, there’s no question that women provide a diversity of viewpoint that is needed in the Capitol. It’s not impossible for that viewpoint to be both female and conservative.

Each year in Madison, a local grocery store holds “Bratfest,” which they brag is the “World’s largest sausage festival.” Unfortunately, this year Bratfest will be bumped to number two, just behind the Wisconsin Legislature.

-May 19, 2008

(Christian Schneider spent eight years working in the State Legislature, where he worked for three different women.)

This One\’s For the Ladies

My new column is up at the WPRI site. It attempts to explain why the number of female Republican legislators has plummeted in the past five years.

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