My new commentary is up over at the mothership; it attempts to draw a parallel between Congressman Paul Ryan’s attempts to repeal the new health care law with former Wisconsin Senator John J. Blaine’s successful attempts to repeal prohibition in 1932. (Although, as the last paragraph points out, prohibition prevented individuals from doing something they wanted to do - drink – while the current health care bill forces many people to do something they don’t want to do – purchase health insurance.)

In my research for the piece, I ran across an awesome old Milwaukee Sentinel column from 1932 by a man named Gunnar Mickelsen, who vigorously defended the benefits of drinking. And it may not even fit in well with my column, but it was too awesome to leave out. I couldn’t help myself. Here’s his logic for why drinking is necessary to society:

“Now, it is our theory that Milwaukee was happy because it talked. The urge to hold conversation, to communicate ideas and experiences is one of man’s major motivations. It is behind most of his endeavors and his works. Deprive him of the privilege to talk and you rob him in no small measure of his ambition to do.

What use are actions if he can’t talk about them later? The man’s ego who is satisfied at the mere doing, without telling others or hearing their praise or criticism, is a rare fellow. The happiest persons are those who have something to say, know how to say it, and are given the opportunity to do so.

Beer and wine make for conversation. There is in liquors of mild alcoholic persuasion that which quickens the flow of the thoughts in a man’s cranium, loosens a notch the belt about his reticence, and releases upon his tongue the fruits of his meditations. It is for precisely this reason that men have resorted to alcoholic drinks as a means to make their companionship more vivid and happy.”

There you have it – people only do important things so they can brag to friends about them. And liquor makes people talk more. Ergo, without alcohol, nobody would really do anything, since they wouldn’t be able to boast about what they did. Simple as that.

I, personally, think it’s air-tight. In fact, I had a couple beers just now, so I could brag to you about my column. Only reason I wrote it, really.

On this week’s podcast, we discuss Alex Chilton’s death, why the Edge is ashamed of his baldness, and why rabbits are the new bears. We also sample the new albums from Frightened Rabbit and Peasant.

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Here’s my new column for WI Magazine.  It talks about how the incentives and actions of our legislators are remarkably similar to those of four year olds.

A small sampling:

Politicians on the national level promise us universal health care while ignoring how they’re going to pay for it. They run up trillions of dollars of debt, selling our future to China. They spend billions of dollars on farcical economic “stimulus” efforts that seem to only benefit political cronies, while America continues to hemorrhage jobs. As if children on a playground, they hurl puerile epithets like “racist” and “teabagger” to impugn their ideological opponents.

Wisconsin’s leaders on the state level aren’t any better. Despite being required to pass a balanced budget, the state currently faces a $2.7 billion deficit. Wisconsin’s governor and Legislature simply can’t resist the urge to buy more government than it can pay for. This isn’t at all unlike what would happen if I let my 6-year-old daughter loose in Toys R’ Us with a credit card.

Compare and contrast your Messiahs.

Jesus Christ: Loved his followers so much that he died for their sins (and everyone else for that matter.)

Barack Obama: Loved himself so much he demanded his followers die for him.

Cheer up, team.  November will be here soon.

On this week’s podcast, we discuss why I paid $100 to see Simon and Garfunkel, whether “road etiquette” for bands exists, and we review the outstanding new album “Goodness Gracious” from the Heligoats.

Listen here:

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As it so happens, the Heligoats played a show in Madison last week, and I was on hand to film it.  It’s pretty dark (it was a coffee shop after all), but I think it turned out okay.  Here’s “Fish Sticks.”

On this week’s podcast, we mention all our new Facebook followers by name, talk about Lil’ Wayne going to jail, and review the new album “Work” by Shout out Louds.

Listen here:

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I was taking my kids to school this morning, and I noticed the car in front of me had “4WD” emblazoned on the back.  And I got to wondering – what difference does it make to me whether that guy’s car is 4 wheel drive or 2 wheel drive?  What would be the purpose of announcing to the world how many wheels are functioning on your car?  Isn’t that really a personal issue between the driver and his automobile?

Come to think of it, I’ve seen other outward declarations of engine capacity.  Aren’t there some cars that actually tell you how many cylinders they have in their engine? (V8? V12?  I don’t even know the lingo.)  Or that they have anti-lock braking systems?  I propose that car companies start putting things like “REALLY GOOD AIR CONDITIONER” on the back bumper of their cars.  Or “EXTRA LARGE CHANGE CUP,” just to make all the other drivers feel insecure.

While it’s slightly annoying in the car world, this could actually work in the people world.  Wouldn’t it be quicker to judge people if they just wore clothes that told us what they thought their most impressive quality was?  People could wear t-shirts that say things like “CAN BENCH PRESS 250 POUNDS” or “SCORED 1200 ON MY SATs.”  Not only would it provide an important fact about that person, but it would also highlight what they think is most important about them.

When you go out with a girl, she can wear a shirt that says “NOT UNTIL THE THIRD DATE.”  Guys can wear a sweatshirt that says “THERE’S A REALLY GOOD CHANCE I’M ON DRUGS RIGHT NOW.”  It takes all the guesswork out of interpersonal relationships – a true time saver.

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This week on the podcast, we review the new album from the band Hot Chip, “One Life Stand.”  We also discuss how hard it must be to play the guitar while you’re pregnant, how much of a ladies’ man George Michael is, and why British people love chocolate so much.

Listen Here:

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Also, I brought my video camera along for a little sneak peek at how we do the podcast:

My new column for WPRI is up over at the mothership.  It discusses how Congress is using health care for political cover.  It’s pretty much your run of the mill “here’s why health care is like a toupee” column that you’re probably sick of reading.

Read it here.