Christian Schneider

Author, Columnist

Month: November 2008 (page 1 of 2)

Rockin\’ Thanksgiving

I spent my Thanksgiving replacing the giant concrete washtub in our basement with a smaller, plastic one that actually drains.  After getting all the plumbing hooked up, I stood for a good half hour, admiring my handiwork.  Then, my wife did the first load of laundry, and we immediately realized the tub was too small to hold the discharge from the washer, sending gallons of water on to my basement floor.  Back to square one.

We also spent the morning watching the Macy\’s Day Parade with my kids, who seemed enthralled by the whole thing.  I got shivers when my daughter pointed at Miley Cyrus and said \”Hey, it\’s Hanna Montana.\”  We have tried our best to shield them from overtly commercial junk like that, but it appears the force is just too great.  The seal has been broken.  The toothpaste is out of the tube.  The racoon is doing origami.  (I don\’t know what that means.)

My kids also enjoyed the Rockettes quite a bit.  My 3 year-old son jumped up and started doing the high leg kicks and everything.  But when you get older, you begin to realize what a sham the Rockettes really are.  I mean, there are probably a million women in America that can do what they do (beaten out slightly my the 1.2 million women who have refused to give me their phone number.)  The appeal of the Rockettes, as I see it, is not that they are great dancers, but that they all dance in unison.  The dance moves are pretty boilerplate – the hard part is syncing the kicking and spinning up with 30 other women.

But should we really give them all that much credit for doing things at the same time?  Aren\’t there other things that, if people did them simultaneously, we\’d be better off?  Like, paying child support?

I also noticed that there was one African-American Rockette, which got me thinking.  If the whole aesthetic goal of the Rockettes is to provide a visual demonstration of similar women doing the same thing, doesn\’t that kind of argue against having a Rockette of a different color?  Wouldn\’t she stand out and break the whole continuity of the visual?  If not, why do they exclude other people with differences?  I\’d love to see the first wheelchair-bound Rockette.

This actually became an issue later in the parade, when some high school dance team was doing their routine.  They were wearing skimpy uniforms, but since it was cold outside, they all had the flesh-colored long sleeves on.  But they showed one black girl on the dance team, and the flesh-colored shirts clearly weren\’t the color of her flesh – they were made for white girls.  So either she had some horrible pigmentation problem, or she was forced to be white from the neck down for a day.  Really bizarre.

The highlight of the parade had to be when America got Rickrolled.  Some puppet float interrupted their kids song, bringing Rick Astley out to perform \”Never Gonna Give You Up.\”  A brilliant move on their part, cashing in on the Rickrolling cultural phenomenon sweeping the nation.  Had to be weird for Astley, lip-syncing to a song that he recorded 20 years ago.

Now, for your aural pleasure:

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

I Couldn\’t Possibly Eat That Last Zinger in My Passenger Side Car Seat

…or can I?

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Important Breaking Packers News

Did you know that every time AARON RODGERS plays a professional football game, he\’s actually playing against BRETT FAVRE?  It\’s true – because TONY KORNHEISER told me so, and he is on television, so he has to be right.

Since you\’re clearly not as smart as TONY KORNHEISER, you might ask yourself stupid questions, such as: How often does BRETT FAVRE\’S team give up 51 points?  Does BRETT FAVRE now play defensive back?  Doesn\’t BRETT FAVRE have completely different players on his team, and hasn\’t BRETT FAVRE played different teams throughout the year?  You may have uttered to yourself: Don\’t BRETT FAVRE and AARON RODGERS have very similar statistics this year?  Didn\’t AARON RODGERS play a couple games with his arm hanging off his body?

Fear not – all these answers have been answered by the Oracle, MR. TONY KORNHEISER.  He knows better than to muddy the water with FACTS.  And he is allowed to make the same inane points OVER and OVER by pretending there are SOME PEOPLE who sit at home and pretend AARON RODGERS is actually playing against BRETT FAVRE every week.  In fact, there ARE NONE.

Actually, there are likely people watching Monday Night Football that have NO LIPS.  In order to accomodate these people, RON JAWORSKI should have to announce how each play would have been different had it been made by a LIPLESS PERSON.  Since, after all, there are SOME PEOPLE wondering it, they should have to say it OVER and OVER, right?  Since STUPID people are sitting at home comparing AARON RODGERS to BRETT FAVRE on every play, it is necessary to accomodate those people by making the broadcast UNLISTENABLE for everyone else.

This message has been brought to you by Mayor Salty\’s Beard Softening Cream.

Sunday Insight With Charlie Sykes

Is on… NOW

The Greatest Game Ever Played

At the behest of one of my friends, I recently began reading the 2007 edition of \”The Best American Sports Writing,\” edited by my boy David Maraniss.  For the first time last year, one of the selections actually came from a blog – and I loved it.  Read here about the Greatest Baseball Game Ever Played, and how Bugs Bunny played a large role in it.

In Maraniss\’ introduction to the book, he also has an interesting anecdote Wisconsin fans will enjoy.  When talking about his father, who was an editor at the Capital Times newspaper here in Madison, he says:

\”He took pride in the fact that one of his reporters at the Madison Capital Times broke a story that Bob Knight was leaving West Point to coach at the University of Wisconsin, and that Knight got so upset by the scoop – it was supposed to be kept secret for two days – that he backed away from the deal.\”

So apparently Bob Knight was that close to coaching at the UW, instead of Indiana.  Can you imagine how the history of college basketball would be different?  Maraniss goes on to mention how poorly Knight would have fit in in Madison, which is true.  But if The General were to have brought home three national championships, somehow I think the folks in Madtown would find a way to have accepted him.

When Hunters Become the Prey

During hunters\’ week in Wisconsin,  Sports Illustrated issues this fantastic article about the costs to humans and the ecosystem when the number of hunters drops:

But over the last decade the North American ecosystem has also seen an unanticipated trend upsetting the always delicate relationship between man and wildlife: The hunters have been going away.

Surveys by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service indicate hunting in general has tumbled precipitously, down 10% in the past decade alone. Bird hunting has dropped by a quarter during that time, and small-game hunting by 31%.

[…]

The news of hunting\’s decline will no doubt cheer those who see it as a cruel pastime. But what the critics do not realize is that as the hunters have stepped back, the animals (especially predators) have come forward-with potentially disastrous consequences for all.

Valerius Geist, a professor emeritus of environmental science at the University of Calgary and an expert on the behavior of large mammals, calls what is happening \”the recolonization by wildlife.\” The first sign, he says, \”was when the herbivores returned,\” a reference to the overabundance of deer, moose and elk in North America. After the herbivores, Geist says, the carnivores are never far behind. \”We are just now beginning to experience that phase,\” he says. As recently as 1994 there were about 50 wolves left in the Yellowstone region (Idaho, Montana and Wyoming), but the population there now stands at more than 1,500; in Minnesota wolves climbed from about 500 in the 1950s to more than 3,000 today.

[…]

In Brookhaven, N.Y., officials are pondering how to handle the deer carcasses scattered across the town\’s roadways. In 2006 they removed 265 deer hit by cars. Last year they found 282. This year they\’re on track to remove at least 370 deer, and the cost-at $400 per animal-is straining the town\’s budget. (Across the U.S. deer-car collisions rose 15% over the past five years, costing annually more than a billion dollars in property damage and 150 human lives.)

At the same time Lyme disease-the crippling illness borne by deer ticks-has gripped the Hamptons. Suffolk County reported an estimated 585 cases last year, up from 190 two years ago. In response, some town leaders across the area turned to what they saw as the only practical solution: They contracted licensed hunters to stalk and kill deer in the tony beach towns along the Island\’s North and South Forks. Some residents ask that men like Walker do their work discreetly, so that their neighbors, or even their spouses, remain unaware of exactly what\’s going on in their backyards. But few protests are heard, in part because the deer, which eat expensive shrubbery and virtually everything else in sight, are often butchered for venison and donated to local soup kitchens.

\”I could shoot a deer every night,\” says Walker, as he stares out at the tree line, waiting for a deer to emerge. He is not complaining. He learned bow hunting from his father and his uncle, and he enjoys his night job, to the point of performing it as a free \”friendly customer service.\”

To all the boys up north:  Be safe, and bring home a big one.  It\’s for the good of all of us.

Goodbye, Louis.

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This morning a friend of mine, Louis Schubert, passed away, finally succumbing to the brain cancer he had carried for several years.  Louis and I met in 1999, when he worked for State Senator Gary Drzwiecki. He will be missed by everyone who knew him both from his days in the Capitol and as a lobbyist afterwards.  Our thoughts and prayers are with his wife, Heather, and his two young sons.

A Small Sampling of Information For Your Consideration

Well hello there.  I\’m sorry I didn\’t see you.  Please, come over and sit down.  Here, let me take your jacket.  Can I offer you some wine?  A nice riesling, perhaps?

There you go.  Get nice and comfortable.  The Yeats reading will begin in two shakes of a marmoset\’s tail.

Say, as long as I have you here, I\’d like to offer a small sampling of information for your consideration.  As it turns out, I will be a panelist on the Sunday Insight with Charlie Sykes show on the television this Sunday.  I know you don\’t have a television – neither do I – but I believe the show is also made available via computer telephone.

It promises to be a wonderful display of my vast knowledge.  I will, however, not be taking questions either before or after the show.  I will also not be addressing the incident with the lime pudding and the ski poles.  We all know what happened there, and I cannot bear to repeat it.

I do have to add, parenthetically, that before my last appearance on the aforementioned show, Charlie Sykes gave me quite a bear of a time about my affinity for a young actress named Megan Fox.  You see, until recently, I had frequently cited a woman named Jessica Alba as my muse – and Mr. Sykes accused me of turning my back on Ms. Alba, as I had previously been the state\’s pre-eminent \”Albatomist.\”  I can assure everyone that the transfer from Alba to Fox is now complete – the paperwork has been filled out, and both parties have been notified of my decision.  As one can see from the enclosed photo, if any woman in the world walks into a room with Ms. Fox, the best they can do is fight for the title of \”2nd most attractive woman in the building.\”

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Oooh – I can see from the rustling above that the reading is about to begin.  I\’m so happy to have you here as my guest.  Please, try the lobster dip.

Get Your Butt to Work

It was just a matter of time.  Back in May of 2006, a Wisconsin State Journal columnist suggested \”A Day Without Gays,\” to mirror the \”Day Without Latinos\” protests that spring up once a year.  On these days, Latinos stay home from work in order to demonstrate their value to the business community.

Now, it appears \”A Day Without a Gay\” is a reality – coming to you December 10th, 2008.  Back in 2006, I fully supported the idea, if only for the entertainment value:

You\’d have legitimately sick guys from all over the state push, pull, and drag themselves into work to avoid being absent. There would be 100% attendance in offices statewide. You\’d have men that get into car accidents on the way to work that would crawl out of their flaming cars, and drag their bloody stump of a leg all the way into the office to avoid missing work that day.

I can see a guy calling his elderly mother\’s doctor:

\”Yeah, Doc – I know she\’s wheezing quite a bit, and she\’s already gotten her last rites. But I really need you to prop her up for an extra day. If she says she\’s heading towards the light, just feed her another Brandy Old Fashioned – she\’ll be fine. I cannot miss work today!\”

Some poor guy will take a little extra time getting into work to get his office donuts, and for a half hour his coworkers will be shaking their heads and saying things like \”I knew the wife and four kids was just a show.\”

Productivity would be off the charts. The economy would boom. The Dow would hit 20,000. The only business to really take a hit would be golf courses (they\’d be empty). Of course, all those sick guys at work would probably cause some kind of viral epidemic that could wipe out the planet, but at least everyone would know they\’re swingin\’ for the right team.

On a more serious note, I think this might actually cause some tension in the gay community. I\’m sure that there are some more strident gays and lesbians who resent other gays who choose to remain in the closet. You\’d have a ton of closeted gays who would refuse to take part, which could cause a rift between them and the openly gay community. Not to mention all the effeminate straight people who will have co-workers come up to them and say, \”Um…weren\’t you supposed to be off today?\” Awkward.

If you are gay, you probably are much better off staying home on December 10th, if only to avoid all the sick guys who came in to work to demonstrate their heterosexuality.

(H/T Dean)

Running on Empty

Some of you may remember my sojourn to the doctor\’s office this summer, when the doc told me my blood pressure was creeping into the danger zone.  This little bit of news kind of freaked me out, so I have done my best to at least get outside for a run a couple times a week.  I\’ve lost a little weight, but not much – as I refuse to stop eating like a 10 year-old boy.

It was only this week, however, that I went and bought one of these little chips that you can put in your shoe that tells you how far and how fast you\’re running.  It really is an amazing piece of technology – and a little creepy.  Now, when I\’m running, it feels like someone is watching me.  I always resist the temptation to stop, since I know the watchful chip will tsk tsk me when I upload the data to my computer.

The chart below details the speed from my run yesterday.  As you can see, about the 2.5 mile mark I slowed down significantly – this was because it had snowed in the morning and Regent Street was still covered in ice.  Had I not slowed down, the line would have gone all the way to the bottom, as I would have cracked my head on the sidewalk and died.  Then someone would have stolen my chip, gone home, and claimed that 2.5 miles as their own.

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Perhaps the most fun of this technological advance will be seeing the chart after I pass a hot girl on one of my runs.  You\’ll be able to tell when I speed up significantly, as the line will spike at the moment I suck in my gut and pretend I\’m Roger f\’ing Bannister.  Lord knows it won\’t be because I\’m actually excited about exercise.

The more I think about this radio chip in my shoe, the more disillusioned I become.  I mean, we now have shoes that watch you while you run, a black president, the Brewers in the playoffs, and Jean-Claude Van Damme has made a movie that is getting rave reviews.  This is not a world of which I am familiar.

I\’m just hoping they don\’t make a new kind of chip that tracks how fast you are at other things.  That could be disastrous.

In the News

Well look at that – I made the news for something other than sitting in the cole slaw at the Wendy\’s salad bar.  From Sunday\’s Wisconsin State Journal:

Who\’s to blame for state budget shortfall?

If Gov. Jim Doyle and Republican and Democratic lawmakers now find themselves in a $5 billion budget hole, it\’s because they\’ve all done part of the shoveling, budget experts said.

At least $1.6 billion of the state\’s massive budget shortfall stems from a spend-now, pay-later attitude pervasive in both political parties in the state Capitol, these analysts said.

Gov. Jim Doyle and other state leaders have blamed the two-year projected budget shortfall, which threatens everyone from taxpayers to students and the poor, on the souring economy across the country.

But commentator Christian Schneider, who predicted in January that a mild recession would lead to a $4.2 billion state budget shortfall, said the state also is paying for its failure to live within its means and to set money aside for the crisis that he and others warned could be coming.

\”We learned nothing from the 2001 downturn so now we\’re going to have to go through another painful process with this downturn,\” said Schneider, a fellow at the conservative Wisconsin Policy Research Institute. \”There\’s nobody who\’s without blame in this situation.\”

The impetus for this article appears to be this post I wrote over at the WPRI blog that criticizes legislators for creating a budget deficit, then whining about there being a budget deficit – as if they had nothing to do with it.

Democrats in Wisconsin: Not Going Anywhere?

Since the November 4th electoral beatdown received by Wisconsin Republicans, state GOP party leaders have been scrambling to offer ways to fix the party. Some say the party has lost its way and needs to be more conservative. Others say the party needs to move to the center to gain new members. My suggestion to adopt a giant lobster with sunglasses as the new party mascot has been largely ignored.

Even if the party were somehow able to get together on a plan of action, the uphill climb is likely more substantial than anyone realizes. If conservatives sit around and wait for the Obama backlash to sweep them into office in 2010, they’ll soon be able to hold their state convention in a minivan in Osseo.

Now that Democrats hold a monopoly on power in Madison, there are several distinct, structural advantages they have which make it more difficult for Republicans to win seats. Many citizens are under the impression that the Legislature exists to serve them. In fact, the Legislature only takes actions that will keep them in power. George Carlin has a joke about jobs – employees do just enough work so they don’t get fired, and bosses pay their workers just enough so they don’t quit. And that, in a nutshell, is your Wisconsin Legislature.

Now, that all changes. When we have split houses, both sides push for electoral advantage. But with unilateral control, Democrats can take legislative action that puts Republicans at a distinct disadvantage. Soon, the Democrats’ de facto electoral edge become a de jure advantage. For instance:

Regulation of Speech

For years, so-called “good government” groups have been dying to get their spindly little fingers on your free speech rights. During campaigns, third parties groups on both sides crop up and run television ads of questionable taste. In many cases, they spend a great deal of money on these ads and don’t disclose their donors, in an effort to protect their members from political retribution.

As a result, many groups have pushed the Legislature to pass laws regulating the timing and content of these political ads. In fact, the Government Accountability Board, a team of unelected bureaucrats, recently deemed themselves eligible to be the political speech police come election time.

In the past, the Legislature has looked at plans that would regulate political speech – and no plan has come close to passing. Both parties seem to recognize that campaign spending takes place on both sides, and they like a lot of these groups doing the heavy lifting on behalf of their candidates. If a bill were to pass under a split Legislature, it is likely that the ads would be affected equally on both sides. Basically, the threat of mutually assured destruction has kept the Legislature from imposing these speech regulations.

However, with Democrats fully controlling the Legislature and governorship, the regulation of political speech can easily be turned into a partisan political weapon. When elected Assembly Speaker, Mike Sheridan of Janesville listed speech regulation as one of his first priorities. “”If you’re getting pounded, at least you should know where you’re getting pounded from,” Sheridan said following his ascendance to the speakership. And when the Democratic Legislature takes over speech regulation, it is almost certain they will slant the law in their favor.

Let’s look at the issue in the simplest possible way: WEAC, the state teacher’s union, spends millions of dollars on issue ads to promote their preferred candidates, usually Democrats. Wisconsin Manufacturers and Commerce, the state’s business lobby, usually spends equal amounts to promote Republican candidates, for the most part. But once Democrats get their hands on political speech, you can bet which side is going to be shut down come election time. It would be easy for Democrats to ban issue ads, but somehow magically exempt unions from the prohibition. As a result, millions will be spent in support of Democratic candidates, and very little will be spent on Republicans. Such are the dangers of government involving itself in the micromanagement of political debate.

The Natural Advantage of Incumbency

It’s no secret that incumbents win more often. Once someone is in office, it takes a pretty strong crowbar to pry them out. In the last two elections, Democrats have had such a crowbar, and his name was George W. Bush.

Incumbents enjoy a great deal of natural advantages once in office. They get huge mailing budgets to saturate their districts with mailings telling constituents all the great things they’re doing for them. They get hundreds of Blue Books they can send to important supporters. They get to knock on doors all summer on the taxpayers’ dime, while the poor schmuck running against them actually has to campaign while holding down a real job. They get to send press releases to all the press outlets in the district for their entire term, trying to garner earned media. They get a taxpayer funded staff who’s entire job is to make them look good, to grease the skids for re-election. Finally, they get to introduce legislation, which sets the agenda for the state and local press.

And now, more Democrats have these tools at their leisure than Republicans. In fact, an estimated 30 Assembly Republican staff members are likely out of jobs due to the switch in party control. These are the footsoldiers that help win GOP seats – and now they’ll be busy fabricating stuff to put on their resumes instead of working to make Wisconsin a red state. Unless there is a Republican tsunami in two years akin to the kind Democrats have had in the last four, these natural advantages of incumbency are going to be extremely difficult to overcome.

Redistricting

If things don’t turn around for Republicans in 2010, Democrats in the Legislature then get to re-draw legislative districts to their advantage. In the 2000 redistricting, the Scott Jensen-led Assembly drew their district lines to protect their incumbents and the Chuck Chvala-led Senate did the same. At some point, they had to compromise and send a final plan to the governor, who then had to approve it. Then, the Wisconsin Supreme Court approved the final plan, to make sure it passed several tests pursuant to the Voting Rights Act.

With Democrats wholly in charge of the redistricting process, solidifying a liberal majority in both houses will be a snap. For the sake of argument, think of three adjacent legislative districts – one is 70% GOP, and the other two are more marginally Republican – say, 51% GOP. Simply move 5% of the Republicans out of the moderate districts and into the more conservative district – then you end up with one 80% GOP seat and two 46% GOP seats. Dems up two seats, just by moving the line. (This is dramatically simplified, but you get the idea.) Pack as many Republicans into as few seats as possible, and Democrats can run the state for the next decade.

The convergence of all of these advantages, coupled with the tendency of the media to favor Democrats, all adds up to a daunting challenge for the GOP in the near future. Not only are they going to have to outscore Democrats, they’re going to have to cover a significant point spread in the process. Clearly, it’s going to take a lot more than simply complaining about the treatment Sarah Palin got from the media to turn the party around.

-November 13, 2008

This Week in Wisconsin News

QUIZ: The most entertaining part of the following story is:

A)  The man\’s name is \”Drunkwine;\”

B)  The song in question is Dio\’s \”Holy Diver;\”

C)  The assault took place on one of the most historic nights in our nation\’s history, apparently unbeknownst to the patrons of Emma\’s Bar.

Beaten Over Karaoke Performance

Cops: Wisconsin man battered singer over lousy heavy metal cover

NOVEMBER 12–Meet Kyle Drinkwine. The Wisconsin man, 24, allegedly became so incensed by a lackluster karaoke performance of a heavy metal song that he assaulted the singer and a second man, police charge. According to a River Falls Police Department report, Drinkwine throttled singer James Mischler, 28, and his friend Cyrus Kozub, 29, \”over one\’s ability to sing karaoke.\” Though cops did not specify which song set Drinkwine off last week, Kozub told TSG that Mischler was performing \”Holy Diver,\” the title cut on Dio\’s 1983 debut album (the band is fronted by Ronnie James Dio, the former Black Sabbath lead singer). Following the assaults, police apprehended Drinkwine after a short foot chase. A subsequent Breathalyzer test recorded his blood alcohol content at .169, more than twice the state limit. Drinkwine was booked into the Pierce County Jail on battery and disorderly conduct counts.

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Hear \”Holy Diver\” here:


You can clearly see how one would be enraged by a substandard performance of such a classic.

Cognitive Dissonance at the Capitol

Governor Doyle and legislative leaders tell us we have a $5 billion budget deficit, and that “tough choices” are going to have to be made.  Yet according to Doyle, none of those tough choices are going to involve reducing state spending in any meaningful way.  Instead, we’re going to see higher taxes on oil companies and hospitals, so we can get more “free” money from the federal government.  Not exactly a profile in courage.

What is truly amazing about this budget Kabuki theater we’re seeing at the Capitol is how the governor and legislators are acting as if they had nothing to do with the budget shortfall.  They pretty much say, “yeah, the economy is bad, and we’ll have to tighten our belts,” as if they bear no responsibility whatsoever for the current shabby financial state we’re in.

Imagine a bank robber going in and holding up a bank, and running off with a million dollars.  Then, imagine the same robber going in two years later and making off with two million dollars.  When the bank finally has to close, the robber holds a press conference blaming the whole thing on the bad economy.  The only thing the governor and legislature are missing are the ski masks.

Take a look at this Legislative Fiscal Bureau document.  On page 7, it details the structural deficit left to taxpayers by the most recent budget adjustment bill, passed earlier this year.  According to the Fiscal Bureau, the budget left a $751 million hole in fiscal year 2010 and an $883 million hole in 2011.  That adds up to a $1.6 billion budget deficit even before the housing market sunk the economy.

Page 8 continues to add up the state’s liabilities.  The $1.6 billion number above assumed a zero increase in school aids and medical assistance funds.  When these cost-to-continue commitments are considered, the budget hole balloons to $2.4 billion – before anyone even considered the current bad economy.  When the legislature passed the budget and the governor signed it back in May, they knew these numbers.  They also knew nobody would care.

But now, with the economy in a recession, sales and income tax receipts are dropping – which makes the deficit much larger.  And, as I demonstrated in a paper earlier this year, Wisconsin is completely caught with its pants down.  Our elected officials are the worst in the nation at planning for fiscal downturns.  We have virtually no rainy day fund and no minimum statutory balance to soften the blow when the economy goes bad.  Most states reserve between 5% and 10% of their general fund revenues to maintain programs when tax receipts fall.  But not Wisconsin, which holds less than 1% in reserve.  As a result, we’re driving our state’s economy on a flat tire – the axle is going to break in half, sending us careening into a ditch.

And you know whose fault that is?  It’s not the economy’s fault – it is Jim Doyle and the Legislature’s fault.  They have absolutely no one to blame but themselves.  In January of this year, I pegged the coming budget shortfall at $4.2 billion.  Months later, the Legislature purported to “fix” the budget hole, but in fact, they actually made things worse.  They can’t say they weren’t warned.

Given this shoddy record of fiscal management, it is amazing that they now stand before us, trying to convince taxpayers that they can “fix” this problem.  In fact, each budget they have passed has made things progressively worse.  Yet nobody in the legislature is willing to step forward and be a grown-up in this process.  The recession of 2001 apparently taught out legislators nothing – it’s going to be the taxpayers that learn the lesson.

Wrapped Up in Books

I have this weird habit of buying books I’ve already read.  Usually, I get a book for free from the library, read half of it, and decide whether I like it or not.  In a lot of cases, I want to highlight things for reference, just so I can come back to them later – but I can’t if it’s a library book.  So I go to the used book store to get a deal on a book that I’ve either half read or completely read.  Plus, it’s nice to have a visual reminder of what books I may have read in any given year.  Makes me feel smarter.

And for some reason, I just love used books stores – I can’t explain it, but I just like looking at books.  I look at the bindings on the shelves and try to think of how publishers try to get their authors to stand out on the shelves amongst thousands of other titles.  Then maybe if I ever get off my ass and write a book, I’ll know how it should look to trick people into buying it – as they sure as hell won’t be buying it because of what might be written in it.  I could probably bind each one of my books with a live $100 bill and still only sell about 18 of them.  I digress.

So last week I saw a book I wanted and bought it – and I’m really enjoying it quite a bit.  But as I got near the end, I realized there was a plane boarding ticket stub jammed in the back.  It’s from a flight from Chicago O’Hare to Tokyo in July of last year.  And it’s a “Premiere Executive” first class ticket, so I figured the woman whose name is on the ticket is kind of a bigshot.  So I admit, I Googled her, and as it turns out, she’s a high ranking executive at a major health care company.  So yeah, big-time.

And I can’t explain this in any rational way – but I kind of feel like I now have some odd connection to this woman.  Just months ago, she was holding this book and reading the same words on the same page that I was.  And since it’s such a good book, I kind of almost want to know what she thought of it.  We now have a shared experience, even though we’ll never meet each other in person.

So all day, it’s been kind of puzzling me why I feel like this woman and I are connected, and I came up with the following:  In the days of everything being on computers and virtually all of our interpersonal relationships taking place online, we have fewer chances to share experiences with our friends.  I can literally go through the entire day reading only the news I want, listening to the music I want, and e-mailing the people I feel like talking to.

As a result, few people I know are fluent in the exact set of things I like to talk about.  (This generally means I have different sets of friends for different topics – I have my lefty music friends and righty politics friends.  One night the two groups bumped into each other and I thought the earth was going to fall off its axis.)  But now here’s this woman who has read the very same book that I have – a book that I’ve found deeply interesting.

Of course, this is all psycho-jibberish.  If I called this woman and tried to explain this to her, I imagine the cops would be at my house before I could hang up.  But it’s really interesting to me to think about who might have owned a book before me.  It’s even weirder when you actually figure out who that person is.  Somewhere, the very words you’re reading on that page are floating around in the head of someone else, perhaps in an entirely different context.  The lesson that can be learned here is very important:  I need some better weed.

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