April 2007 – Christian Schneider

Thoughts on the Packers\’ Draft

April 30, 2007 / Christian / 0 Comments

When a team\’s fans are watching a draft, there are really only a couple of things that factor into their opinion of a pick:

1. Have we heard of the pick?
2. Does he play a position our team needs to improve?

Based on these two parameters, it is easy to predict how a team\’s fan base will react to any given pick. The math goes like this:

1. Heard of the pick + Fills a need = Fans cheer

2. Haven\’t heard of pick + Fills a need = Fans cautiously optimistic

3. Heard of the pick + Doesn\’t fill a need = Fans split

4. Haven\’t heard of the pick + Doesn\’t fill a need = Fans angry, swear words utilized.

Justin Harrell falls into category #4, which is why Ted Thompson is taking an absolute beating on some of the message boards. Packer fans are angry and confused, since they had fallen in love with Marshawn Lynch, and because Harrell had been projected a few picks lower. As a group, we\’re a little tired of Thompson drafting like he knows something that nobody else does.

But a lot of these fans also wanted the Packers to draft Brady Quinn, which would have been an absolute disaster. And why did they like Quinn? Well, because he was on TV every week. He must be good.

As Ron Smith in Whitefish Bay wrote:

\”Thompson should be fired immediatley for his incompentence and inability to pick marquee names.\”

(Not sure how many \”marquee names\” were available at #16. Maybe Thompson could have taken Troy Smith there – he won the Heisman, after all!)

Incidentally, name recognition isn\’t always bad. At the time, I mocked Packer fans for insisting that the Packers take Chris Chambers over Robert Ferguson just because he played for the UW. As it turns out, they were right.

On the other hand, there were teams (like Cleveland), who were angling to move up to take Quinn. It would be interesting to see if they called the Packers and what they offered for the 16th pick. They gave Dallas their #1 pick in 2008 and a second rounder this year for the 22nd – they should have given up a little more for the 16th. I would have been happier with that scenario than Harrell. But who knows.

$\"\"$ As for the other guys they took, I\’m obviously happy they took a couple of Virginia Tech guys. I watch a lot of Hokie games, and I have always hoped Rouse would someday be a Packer. Of course, I wish that for any good Tech player, as I am hopelessly biased. I think Clowney is going to be good, too – he had a pretty shaky QB in college, and he has some talent. Could end up being like Ernest Wilford, who was drafted out of Tech pretty late and is now a solid receiver for Jacksonville.

I\’m not really bothered that the Packers didn\’t end up with a big name running back. Aside from the truly elite, most RBs in the league are fairly interchangeable. I mean, Samkon Gado looked like an all-pro running behind a good offensive line. And since the Packers\’ line was really coalescing well at the end of the year last season, I have faith that they\’ll be able to find someone that can run the ball.

As for the Randy Moss situation, I\’m certain it\’s more complicated than a lot of message board posters are making it out to be. Any team that traded for Moss would have to renegotiate his contract, plus he said he wanted to play for a Super Bowl contender. That pretty much means he could refuse to go to teams that he didn\’t want to play for, by refusing to re-negotiate. Plus, any team that traded for him would end up paying him a boatload of money – which is why the Raiders unloaded him for a 4th rounder. Sure, they don\’t get much back, but they also don\’t have to pay him now. That being said, when I found out that the Patriots had traded for Moss, it felt like I got a punch to the stomach. My daughter told me to stop yelling at the TV.

Depending on the status of Koren Robinson, who the Packers could re-sign before next year, maybe Thompson thought he had enough receivers for the time being. You may remember Brett Favre sticking up for Robinson after the NFL barred him from contact with the team during his suspension – that certainly may have been a move by Favre to convince Robinson to re-sign with the Pack.

I\’m as willing as anyone to just crush the Packers for having a bad draft. I thought Ted Thompson\’s 2005 draft was an abomination for which he should be hauled before an international tribunal in the Hague for war crimes. But this one, I think we need to wait and see.

Blog Summit Wrapup

April 30, 2007 / Christian / 1 Comment

I attended the Wispolitics Blog Summit II yesterday, and had a good time meeting a lot of the people I had only gotten a chance to know via e-mail. I got the chance to chat with Rick Esenberg (my favorite), Terrence Berres, James Wigderson, Steve Eggleston, Owen Robinson, Amy Kant, Jo Egelhoff, Jay Bullock, Aaron Kreel, and a few other members of the Cheddarsphere. I apologize for leaving early, but I had to sneak out after the \”Legalities of Blogging\” section.

As for the actual presentations, I agree with Rick that they were a little self-referential. I don\’t know that anything was covered that hasn\’t been discussed over and over again on blogs themselves. But it really is a good event in that it gave me an excuse to get together and meet people I had met on the internet in person, without Chris Hansen of \”Dateline NBC\” in attendance (for a change).

My favorite part of the presentations was when Ed Garvey singled out the Wisconsin Policy Research Institute (my employer) as the root of all evil in society. I can\’t wait to hear what he says when he finds out we keep a basement full of 7-year old Korean girls chained to typewriters to write my columns for me.

Me, 34

April 27, 2007 / Christian / 3 Comments

34 years today, I sprung forth from my mother\’s womb to unleash my dazzling array of sweater vests on the world. Unfortunately, as the saying goes, \”old age only brings more things to shave.\”

34 isn\’t that old in the grand scheme of life, but it can be said that I\’m now \”middle age.\” I enjoy how we refer to 60 year olds as \”middle age.\” Do you know anyone that\’s 120? Any non-turtles, that is?

Today gives me the chance to think back and reflect on my birth. Knowing the hurt and pain that today\’s world offers, I may have decided to stay in the womb for a more extended period of time. I mean, who is some \”doctor\” to serve me with an eviction notice? On the other hand, I really like waffles, and those are difficult to get in utero. So maybe I made the right decision.

Actually, I got lucky – I narrowly missed being a female by one measly chromosome. There\’s nothing wrong with being a girl, but it would cause problems for me – as I would sit at home all day looking at myself in the mirror without clothes. To hell with a job.

Early in life, there are all sorts of age milestones to look forward to. At 16, you can drive. At 21, you can drink. At 18, you can vote. At 23, you get to see your first naked woman. (Wait…that\’s not the law?) And from what I have learned, at 35 you can legally drive without wearing any pants. So attention Wendy\’s drive-through workers: consider yourself warned. 365 days.

Maybe I shouldn\’t feel so bad about being old. As they say in Hollywood, 34 is now the new 33. Plus, I\’d be the oldest living male in inner city Milwaukee, so there\’s that. And I\’ve managed to father two beautiful children who, in the event of my death, would immediately spend their inheritance on hypnosis to forget that I ever existed.

But let\’s be serious here – my life has passed me by, and I\’m pretty much just running out the clock at this point. I may just quit my job, sit home, and wait to die.

A Note on Generations

April 27, 2007 / Christian / 1 Comment

Today, Charlie Sykes cites a USA Today article about helicopter parents choosing professions for their children:

As Generation Y enters the job force, parents of new hires are calling employers to negotiate salary and benefits, and some are even showing up at job fairs.

Here\’s my question:

I would imagine the children of Generation Y will be Generation Z. Once we get past that, do we go all the way back to Generation A? Or do we start doubling up, and make it Generation AA? And if that\’s the case, won\’t there eventually be a Generation XXX? Because that sounds like something I would want to be a part of.

Health Care Discrimination

April 27, 2007 / Christian / 0 Comments

Twice a week, I play basketball before work with a bunch of guys that I\’ve known for a while. Seeing as we\’re mostly old guys, some of us pull a hamstring if we even imagine running faster than a jog.

Two weeks ago, we had a guy fall to the floor and start grabbing his ankle. After about two minutes of staring at each other in silence, someone finally asked him, \”Uhhh… you all right?\”

Fast forward to last week, when we were joined by the girl that sometimes shows up to play. Without getting myself into trouble, I can diplomatically say that she\’s better to look at than any of us old fat guys. Anyway, halfway through one of the games, she sprains her ankle and drops to the ground. And seriously – you would have thought it was the Kennedy assassination.

Immediately, there were four guys helping her up and encouraging her. Guys were sprinting to the locker room to be the first one to get her ice. Backrubs were offered. Grown men wept openly.

I am 100% certain that if I injured myself, the priest would be in the gym delivering my last rites before anyone even noticed I was laying on the ground. Totally unfair – someone pass a law.

Ted Leo at Club 770

April 27, 2007 / Christian / 0 Comments

Went to see Ted Leo and the Pharmacists at Union South last night. I won\’t bore people with details, but the show was great. Surprising that he\’d be playing such a small venue – I would think he could easily fill the Annex or High Noon. If he were in Chicago, he\’d probably be playing the Metro or somewhere big. I\’m anxiously awaiting my next milestone, when I go from only being twice as old as everyone else at these shows to being three times as old.

Anyway, if there\’s one good reason to support the war in Iraq, it\’s so it compels Ted Leo to write more really good anti-war albums. It seems to get his creative dander up. That\’s what was so disappointing about the last R.E.M. album – you think the starts would have all been aligned, with the U.S. being at war. It should have been right in Michael Stipe\’s wheelhouse, and he totally whiffed.

On the way to the concert, I seriously missed being hit by a car by inches while crossing Regent Street. After the show, my buddy Barrett and I discussed whether it would be better to be run over by a car going really fast or really slow. Think about it – if the car was going fast, the tires would hit you from the front more quickly, but there\’s a chance that the initial blow might pop the car into the air a little – and the car would actually be on to of you for less time. With the slow car, the actual hit wouldn\’t be as bad, but the tires would be on top of you crushing your ribs for a longer period of time.

Personal preference, I guess.

Watch a live solo performance of \”Bottle of Buckie\” here.

Pew Poll Lives Up to its Name

April 26, 2007 / Christian / 1 Comment

I vaguely remember this Pew poll relating to the public\’s knowledge of current events being discussed elsewhere, but it has some information that I have to discuss.

First of all, 31% of Americans can\’t name who the Vice President of the United States is. Read that slowly so it sinks in. It\’s not exactly like Dick Cheney\’s name hasn\’t been in the news at all in the past, say, EIGHT YEARS. In fact, Cheney\’s name identification is roughly that of Beyonce\’ Knowles\’ – which makes perfect sense, since Cheney\’s name ID has been dropping since he got booted out of Destiny\’s Child.

After seeing that result, I began to think about what it might be like to be that stupid. But then I realized, if I was that stupid, I\’d be too stupid to know it. In fact, I\’d be so dumb, I\’d actually think I was smart. Then things wouldn\’t be all that bad.

36% percent of Americans can name Vladimir Putin as the president of Russia. Which is ironic, because 36% of Russians have actually been tortured by Putin.

Among viewers of The Daily Show and the Colbert Report, 54% scored in the \”High Knowledge\” category. This is in contrast to viewers of \”Sabado Gigante,\” of whom 90% just scored in the \”High\” category.

Actually, blog readers didn\’t score all that well. Only 37% of blog readers were judged to be in the \”High Knowledge\” category. Even worse were viewers of local news – only 35% of local news viewers are High Knowledge. But I dispute this result, because the poll obviously didn\’t quiz people on the squirrel in Beloit that can play the drums.

In a roundabout way, this kind of illustrates a point I\’ve been meaning to make on one of Owen Robinson\’s posts a couple of weeks ago. When discussing a proposed constitutional amendment to require showing photo identification when voting, Owen says:

\”Regardless of what you think about the merits of this constitutional amendment, shouldn\’t the voters at least get a say?\”

Well, no, actually.

Regardless of what I think about the merits of requiring photo identification at the polls, I think legislators should have their say – since it\’s a matter of public policy. We don\’t live in a direct democracy – and taking a look at the poll referenced above might illustrate why that\’s a good idea.

Legislating via constitutional amendment is a tricky game. Not only is the public not necessarily well informed (as seen above), they are notoriously bipolar depending on the issue. Conflicting constitutional amendments are almost inevitable. Furthermore, as Federalist #10 points out, \”majority rule\” is fraught with danger from factions.

I am certain that a constitutional amendment limiting taxes and spending in Wisconsin would pass. I am also nearly as certain that a constitutional amendment declaring health care a basic right for every Wisconsin resident would also pass. Shouldn\’t voters at least get a say on that? Should voters get a say on whether we need more gun control, especially after the Virginia Tech massacre?

Granted, the segment of citizens who can name Beyonce\’ but not Condoleezza Rice probably aren\’t voters. But at least there\’s a reasonable expectation our lawmakers have a passing knowledge of issues relevant to the legislation before them.

Govs Enjoy Quirky Veto Power

April 24, 2007 / Christian / 0 Comments

Stateline.org today published this story about the unique veto authority Wisconsin gives its governors. It also has some useful information about veto authority in other states.

It is Now Official…

April 24, 2007 / Christian / 2 Comments

At this time, I would now like to announce my official retirement from watching \”24.\” It\’s just too much. I can\’t take it anymore. I would rather watch Sanjaya as a new panelist on \”The View\” than watch another evil foreigner just slip through the grasp of CTU. Tonight, I was praying that Jack\’s C4 explosives would go off, blowing up both he and Audrey. I mean, come on. Nothing even makes sense anymore. I\’m hoping that Fayed really isn\’t dead and that he sneaks into CTU and pummels Morris, Milo, Chloe, and every other of those whiny bastards. Apparently Chad Lowe gets to escape the death penalty for trying to blow up the president because he had some information… that everyone knew already? So the Department of Justice, in order to look good politically, cuts a deal with a guy that just tried to kill the president? I\’m so angry, I can\’t even break my rant up into paragraphs. So there you have it. I\’ll finish out this season, then I\’ll have my papers on your desk immediately.

With the First Pick in the NBDL Draft…

April 24, 2007 / Christian / 0 Comments

When Todd Rosiak reported tonight that Marquette\’s Dominic James was leaning towards declaring himself eligible for the draft, I wondered what draft he was talking about. The Turkish professional league, maybe?

Actually, I hear short, athletic point guards that can\’t shoot or pass are a hot commodity in the NBA now. What team wouldn\’t want someone capable of a 6 for 24 shooting clinic on any given night?

R.I.P., David Halberstam

April 23, 2007 / Christian / 0 Comments

When my wife e-mailed me to tell me famous author David Halberstam had died, I kind of had the reaction that many people do when a septuagenarian passes away. I thought it was too bad, but probably about time – thinking he had died of an illness or old age. But when I realized he died in a car crash, I instantly felt worse. Who knows if he had another book in him or not?

I have to confess, most of Halberstam\’s books I read were his sports books: \”Summer of \’49,\” \”Teammates,\” \”Playing for Keeps,\” and so on. You almost feel honored that a man of such intellect stoops to write sports books that dopes like me can understand. I did read his account of the Vietnam War, \”The Best and the Brightest,\” written based on much of his Pulitzer-Prize winning reporting on Vietnam. His reporting as to the inner workings of the Kennedy and Johnson administrations before government records were readily available should be the gold standard of investigative reporting.

Going \’In Burrito"

April 23, 2007 / Christian / 1 Comment

$\"\"$

Greetings! My boy Mr. Schneider has offered some space in his new blog, and I\’ve decided to take him up on the offer. Hopefully, this experience won\’t end up sucking, and I\’ll be able to impart some of my insights onto his regular readers (both of you). I\’ve told Chris I\’ll post randomly, and try to be as witty and topical as possible. I won\’t even sniff his level of humor and insight, as I\’ve come to realize he\’s pretty good at this. Also, I\’m working under the \”Mr. Noodle\” title, both to hide my identity and give a shout out to the dude who tirelessly entertains my kids with his wacky antics each day.

I\’ve jotted down a few topics I\’d like to post on, including: why I\’m not so sure my two-year old son is really mine, why Chris is closing in on becoming one of the top 5 Schneiders of all time, and why I never miss a movie with a sword fight in it. However, the idea for my inaugural post on Atomic Trousers came to me today while I was out to lunch.

I live and work on the trendy east side, so I pass numerous 5-star restaurants every day I\’m in the car (Hardee\’s, Applebee\’s, IHop just to name a few). Today, while my original noon hour plan was to go burger shopping, I dropped in on my friends at the neighborhood La Bamba on East Washington Ave.

First off, as I walk in, I ask myself what kind of business must this place be doing if they are completely empty at 12:15pm on a Tuesday? I\’ll bet not 1% of the restaurants on the planet don\’t get at least one patron by noon on a weekday.

I settled on the Super Nachos for $7, figuring if they were legit, I\’d be done eating for the day. Not so. One small spoonful of bean slop, next to no cheese and only a couple of skinny strands of chicken greeted me as I opened up my styrofoam bowl. If those are Super Nachos, Taco Bell\’s Nachos Bell Grande should win an award or something. I\’m nacho average Mexican food guy too, so believe me when I say they were weak. I should\’ve played it safe and buried a burrito like everyone else does.

Shortly after sitting down (in front of a tv showing muted soccer highlights on Telemundo), in walks a super fat lady, which obviously grabbed my attention a bit. With only her and me in the entire restaurant, I could easily overhear her order, which sucked for her, since she ordered enough food to feed a submarine crew. It went something like this, \”Yah, (breathless from almost running to the counter) Hi, I\’ll have two steak burritos, each with a side of beans and rice for here, then (in damn near a whisper), I\’d like an order of your tamales to go.\” As someone who tries not to ever overhear what others are ordering, or watch them as they eat, I was saddened by the fact I knew she was about to eat the equivalent of three burritos as big as my head. To borrow a line from David Spade, I could almost hear her getting fat.

Then, not two minutes later, as I was settling in and reading the movie reviews in latest edition of Voz Latina, in walks a younger hispanic guy and his young son. Nothing out of the ordinary there, except for the fact the little boy had on these sweet sunglasses. My first thought was that daddy might be letting Junior hold his shades while he orders their lunch, but no, the kid kept them on until they sat down to eat. My two year old son doesn\’t even let me put on his coat! I wonder if it is a cultural thing?

Finally, as I was leaving, I made a pit stop at the soda machine for a refill, the guy at the counter, grimacing like the angry dude who mugs Patrick Swayze in \”Ghost\”, yells out that refills are 35 cents. I smile and tell him, \”yep, gotcha\” purely as a defense mechanism. Thinking he was joking, since NOBODY charges for refills anymore. I fill up my cup and begin to walk out, when I hear him hollar, \”Amigo, you must pay for refills!\”. With about 10 people now in the restaurant, I turned around, smile and say, \”you\’ve got to be sh*tting me\”. Then, I toss my full cup in the garbage and walk out wondering if all this craziness would be a good topic for my maiden voyage on Atomic Trousers….

Hello world!

April 23, 2007 / Christian / 1 Comment

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

Why the Bucks Were Tanking

April 20, 2007 / Christian / 1 Comment

For those of you wondering why the Bucks tanked the last 20 games of the season, here\’s why:

And with the third pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, the Milwaukee Bucks select…

Schneider\’s kid!

Taking Sides

April 18, 2007 / Christian / 0 Comments

I have to admit, I was a little surprised during American Idol last night when Chris Richardson offered his condolences to the students at Virginia Tech and Simon Cowell rolled his eyes. Clearly, Simon thought Richardson was trying to deflect his criticism and I\’m certain Cowell wasn\’t making light of the whole situation.

However, Richardson is from Virginia, and I\’m certain he has plenty of friends at Tech. It is a big state school. Plus, the whole discussion regarding his nasally singing had concluded and they were about to move on. The fact that Simon would be flippant about a contestant offering condolences to his friends after a tragedy is a little disappointing. It wasn\’t nearly as bad as Phil Stacey (A.K.A. \”Nosferatu\”) saying his three month old kid named a toy cow \”Simon Cow.\”

In the end, of course, it doesn\’t mean a damn thing. And I think Cowell realized his mistake by offering his own condolences later in the show.

Winner: Richardson

Christian Schneider

Author, Columnist

Month: April 2007 (page 1 of 3)