On Saturday night, the wife and I took a rare opportunity out of the house together to see “(500) Days of Summer,” a movie that’s gotten pretty good reviews. It’s actually much better than I expected – but at one point I yelped loudly, as the movie killed one of my go-to jokes.
At one point in the movie, the main character (played really well by Gordon Joseph Levitt) looks to his little sister for advice on how to keep his girlfriend. And his sister warns that his girlfriend will probably leave him for “a guy with a face like Brad Pitt and Jesus abs.”
As it turns out, when I’m in church, I often look at Jesus on the crucifix and wonder how he got such a six-pack. And when I tell people this, it tends to get a few chuckles. I have a whole bit about how I’m thinking of going on the Home Shopping Network and selling the Jesus workout video and such. In fact, just one week ago I regaled my softball team with the whole schtick. It was a reliable go-to bit. Maybe not riotously clever, but subversive enough to garner some nervous laughter.
And now, it has to be retired forever because of that stupid movie. People will think I just stole it. From now on, any jokes I think of, I will have notarized, just so people will believe me. And I will carry this piece of paper around in my wallet, right next to my picture of Mary Lou Retton.
(Note to self – get the Mary Lou Retton joke notarized.)
As if that weren’t enough, the movie also features a Smith song that I JUST LAST WEEK linked to on Twitter. (Do yourself a favor and watch it here.) Granted, laboratory tests have proven it to be their best song, so it makes sense that the writers would use it. But the coincidences are starting to pile up. Now people will even have trouble believing that I came up with the whole idea of setting the move “Titanic” on a boat.
Anyway, for my own selfish benefit, I hope you don’t go see the movie. But it is pretty good. Here’s the trailer: