Well hello there. I\’m sorry I didn\’t see you. Please, come over and sit down. Here, let me take your jacket. Can I offer you some wine? A nice riesling, perhaps?
There you go. Get nice and comfortable. The Yeats reading will begin in two shakes of a marmoset\’s tail.
Say, as long as I have you here, I\’d like to offer a small sampling of information for your consideration. As it turns out, I will be a panelist on the Sunday Insight with Charlie Sykes show on the television this Sunday. I know you don\’t have a television – neither do I – but I believe the show is also made available via computer telephone.
It promises to be a wonderful display of my vast knowledge. I will, however, not be taking questions either before or after the show. I will also not be addressing the incident with the lime pudding and the ski poles. We all know what happened there, and I cannot bear to repeat it.
I do have to add, parenthetically, that before my last appearance on the aforementioned show, Charlie Sykes gave me quite a bear of a time about my affinity for a young actress named Megan Fox. You see, until recently, I had frequently cited a woman named Jessica Alba as my muse – and Mr. Sykes accused me of turning my back on Ms. Alba, as I had previously been the state\’s pre-eminent \”Albatomist.\” I can assure everyone that the transfer from Alba to Fox is now complete – the paperwork has been filled out, and both parties have been notified of my decision. As one can see from the enclosed photo, if any woman in the world walks into a room with Ms. Fox, the best they can do is fight for the title of \”2nd most attractive woman in the building.\”
Oooh – I can see from the rustling above that the reading is about to begin. I\’m so happy to have you here as my guest. Please, try the lobster dip.