Jim Doyle is touring the flooding in Western Wisconsin, and I have no doubt that Doyle is sincere about wanting to help the people underwater.

However, when I decided to run for Governor, my first promise to voters will be that I will never tour disaster sites. I mean, seriously – what is the purpose? It\’s not like Doyle is swimming out and saving puppies stuck on rooftops or anything.

I will save the taxpayers the tax-funded photo-op. I\’ll just have my advisors say to me the following:

\”Okay, governor, shut your eyes and think of La Crosse. Now think about La Crosse with a lot of water in it. That\’s pretty much what it\’s like.\” Then I will declare an emergency, write a check, and be done with it. And the money I would have spent on some bogus fly-over will go to flooding victims.

In fact, the only photo op that I will take advantage of will be when Lindsay Lohan inevitably comes to Madison to film \”The Audrey Seiler Story.\” Mark it down.

And I probably need to work a little on my campaign slogan: \”Your ass is paying too much in taxes.\”