\"\" I have a couple of ideas that will allow me to retire within hours of obtaining a patent.

First, I\’d create toupees that simulate male pattern baldness. How many well meaning dudes are going to walk around with rugs that look like a rabid racoon fell out of a tree onto their head? At least be realistic – nobody\’s going to believe that grew on your head – why not thin it out and start the hairline back a little bit? It\’s better than the dreaded combover (which I am convinced is the reason Al Qaeda hates us).

My second idea is a real winner. Know how when you eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch, you can\’t wait for the cinnamony milk at the end of the bowl? Why not eliminate the \”Crunch\” portion of the equation and just sell the cinnamony milk? I\’d buy it by the gallons! Who wouldn\’t buy Peanut Butter Cap\’n Crunch leftover milk?

I\’ve seen some commercials on TV that have offered to patent my inventions for me, so send them some money, quick, if you too want to be as wealthy as Tom Vu.