For months now, I have passed the frozen foods section of our grocery store with an eye on a product that it seems couldn\’t possibly be any good: White Castle microwavable burgers. But having put down six Whiteys sliders after a concert in Chicago a few weeks ago, I thought it was time to give them a try, if only for the sake of my own amusement.

Surprisingly, they\’re not really all that unhealthy. 17 grams of fat per two burgers, which is the same amount as one hot dog. You have to wrap a pack of two burgers in a paper towel, and microwave them for 60 seconds.

Admittedly, when I first had the idea of doing this post, I thought I was going to go into great detail about how disgusting they are. But I have to admit – they\’re actually not half bad. Perhaps the main benefit they have going for them is that the actual food they are meant to replicate is so bad to begin with. Whiteys sliders are good for a 3 AM after bar meal, but aren\’t exactly a delicacy at noon. So because the bar is so low to begin with, they actually meet it easily.

In fact, given the microwave directions, the heating is just perfect. The meat gets hot, while the bun warms up, but doesn\’t get soggy. Naturally, you\’re better off having plenty of ketchup nearby to make the taste more tolerable.


So if you\’re looking for a 60 second snack that takes you back to the old days of getting hammered at the bars and scavenging for food (\”old days\” = \”last week\”), you could do a lot worse than White Castle frozen burgers.

Four out of five trousers.