Well, we finally figured out why Brett Favre was crying so much at his retirement press conference: because he had heard I was going on TV to murder his legacy.

Here \’tis:

Some of this rhetoric may be familiar to this blog\’s readers, as I shamelessly ripped off a couple lines from a previous post. But this was really short notice, and I thought they were decent points, and… I\’m not a machine. Wait – who am I arguing with here?

The late notice of me going on is actually demonstrated with the length of my hair, which appears to make my head lopsided. I look like I\’m hosting a telethon for people who desperately need a haircut.