A groundbreaking new dental procedure:

Embattled Calif. Dentist Says Breast Rubs Necessary

WOODLAND, Calif. — A dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases. Mark Anderson\’s lawyer says dental journals discuss the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem.

Police say Anderson said during recorded phone calls that he routinely massaged patients\’ chests to treat temporo-mandibular joint disorder, or TMJ, which causes neck and head pain. Attorney Robert Zaro told administrative law judge Jonathan Lew at a hearing Thursday that he should let Anderson keep his dental license while disciplinary appeals proceed. Anderson would be supervised by two assistants and would no longer do the chest rubs, Zaro said.

[…]

Deputy Attorney General Jeffrey Phillips gave Lew three new complaints, including one from a 31-year-old woman who said Anderson fondled her at least six times over two years.

She took to wearing tight shirts with high necklines, \”and Anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra,\” according to a police report.

I would love to see the dental school textbook that prescribes a little under-the-shirt action as a cure for TMJ.

Furthermore, this woman says she was fondled six times over two years? After you go to the dentist once and he puts his hand up your shirt and starts groping you, wouldn\’t that maybe be a red flag that something might be awry? So on the sixth time, she said \”you know, maybe my dentist should be wearing pants?\”

And where were these 26 other women while this was all going on? Apparently, he got away with this for quite a while.

I\’d hate to see how he gives fillings.