Christian Schneider

Author, Columnist

Month: March 2007 (page 2 of 2)

This Simply Has to be Seen to be Believed

For those who don\’t follow serious news, Jon \”Bowzer\” Bauman, late of the musical group Sha Na Na, was at the State Capitol today lobbying for some dopey bill that prevents people from making money impersonating old groups or something. Actually, I don\’t like the bill because it would kill my lucrative career touring Wisconsin as Marvin Gaye.

Anyway, I was wondering which is more puzzling: the fact that people still pay money to go see Sha Na Na, or Bowzer has so little dignity that he still goes around doing this:

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This is a picture of Bowzer practicing a little dip-dip-dip-diplomacy with Rep. Jeff Fitzgerald\’s loyal staffer, Brian Pleva.)

It is good to see him staying in touch with his gang member roots. Lord knows, there\’s nothing the street ruffians of today love more than a little doo wop music. That and beating people to death.

Next up: Weezie shows up at the Capitol arguing that fish don\’t fry in the kitchen, but concedes that beans may, in fact, burn on the grill.

Bizarre Love Triangle

I realize I\’m waaaaaaaay late to the party on this, but I\’ve just now realized how great those \”to catch a sex predator\” shows are. The ones where the FBI poses online as a 13-year old girl and lures some sex predator to a house where they\’re caught on camera and busted by the local cops.

There was one on the other night where NBC found out that the guy they lured to the house had actually been talking dirty to more than one FBI agent at a time.

My initial thought is – you think one FBI agent\’s feelings are just a little bit hurt that the guy felt the need to look for love with a different 13 year old girl? Like, maybe their skills at posing as a prepubescent temptress weren\’t up to par?

Think that was an awkward day at the FBI offices the next day when the two officers sat next to each other in the morning meeting? Like, one of them shot the other the \”oh, so you\’re the one he left me for\” glance?

And yes, there is a special level of hell for dudes who troll for little girls so much that they actually manage to run into two agents at once. That is dedication.

Majerus Blog

My old boss is apparently writing an NCAA Tournament blog for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. It would shock me if he even owns a computer, but I have to admit – it is actually really good.

I worked as a basketball manager for the University of Utah from 1993-1996. I was probably the worst manager in the history of managing, as I was more interested in being involved with the playing and coaching aspects of the job than I was interested in washing uniforms.

UPDATE: A friend reminded me that I have this video from a Utah/Arizona game in 1993, where I\’m sitting behind the bench. I\’m the skinny guy in the white shirt and yellow tie that takes turns looking disgusted at the refs and fixing his early \’90s hair.

Don\’t Call it a Comeback

Friends of mine knew that it was just a matter of time before I jumped back into the blogging game. For new readers, I\’m the guy that used to write a blog as Dennis York before I shut that whole operation down and emerged from the shadows.

I plan on making this blog a repository of things that generally amuse me. I can\’t promise that I\’ll update it as often as I did the York blog, as I have other writing assignments that will take up a big chunk of my time (see my commentaries at the Wisconsin Policy Research Institute website). Nor will any of the content necessarily reflect the views of WPRI.

However, I do plan on making it an outlet for things that anger, puzzle, and frustrate me. I figure this will be a slightly better option than my second choice, heroin.

"How Did This Dope End Up on My TV?"

The good folks at Wisconsin Public Television somehow decided that I was qualified to contribute an occasional commentary to the \”Here and Now\” show.

You can watch the video of it here (I\’m at about the 24:50 mark), but I caution you may want to escort small children out of the room first. I look like I\’m starring in an al-Qaeda hostage video, just with less convincing acting. People watching the show probably accidentally thought they had tuned into a buffalo wing eating contest when they saw my fat head on their TV.

Anyway, despite my contribution, it really is a great show, and everyone should watch. If you don\’t, then the terrorists have won.

Oh, and I\’m going to be on a again this week. Hopefully, I\’ll be a little better.

Welcome to the WPRI Blog!

In an attempt to make wpri.org your one stop shop for free market talk, we have decided to set up a multi-contributor blog. Often times, our authors want the chance to comment on things that may not have the depth of a full column or research paper, so this blog will give them the chance to do that – and maybe have a little fun in the process. Hopefully, this can turn into a forum to facilitate discussion on current topics between our contributors and readers.

So check back regularly, and enjoy!

Poor Stewardship of Tax Money

Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle’s proposed 2007-09 biennial budget has a little something for everyone. If you think insuring more people with taxpayer funds is a priority, you’ll be pleased with the proposal. If you support taxing hospitals and oil companies, that’s in there for you. And if you’re one of the twelve people in Wisconsin that thinks the state should prioritize buying up a lot more land, then drop your bongos and listen up – you’re covered there, too.

Doyle’s budget proposes increasing the Knowles-Nelson Stewardship program by 75% per year beginning in 2010 – adding a total of $1.6 billion in total state spending over 10 years. Surely, he’s giving in to the woodchuck lobby, who listed “more serenity” as their number one campaign issue last year (barely beating out “don’t shoot us,” and “less Rosie O’Donnell on TV”).

According to the Legislative Fiscal Bureau, 18% of Wisconsin’s total land is currently being held for public conservation by various levels of government – an irony completely lost on advocates of “affordable housing,” who don’t realize that the more land government takes off the market, the more expensive the remaining land gets. It is estimated that the state will have to pay $48 million in debt service payments on Stewardship land in 2007, before any more land is even purchased.

Doyle’s love affair with the Stewardship program represents a bouillabaisse of broken state government concepts. First, the state incurs debt to purchase land. Anyone who’s taken out a mortgage knows that they can expect to pay two to three times the purchase price of their home once interest is accounted for. Despite the current dire economic straits of state government, Doyle continues to rack up the state’s credit card debt in order to pacify his environmental supporters. It’s not Wisconsin citizens who are paying to buy these parcels of land, it’s their kids – for the next twenty years. Until my one-year old son figures out a way to make eating crayons profitable, he’s already in the hole a couple million.

Secondly, it’s not as if Stewardship is the most trustworthy program with the use of state dollars. In the year 2000, the Legislative Audit Bureau conducted a study to investigate complaints that the state was overpaying for land purchased through the Stewardship program. The audit found that the Department of Natural Resources (DNR) was paying an average of 120% more per acre for properties than their assessed value reflected. In fact, on many purchases, the DNR would accept the price of a property based on an appraisal done by the property’s seller.

(Note to self: Invite the DNR to my next garage sale, as they may pay well over the current nickel that a pair of my old underwear fetches.)

For instance, the Department purchased a 1.4 acre property in Newport State Park in Brown County for $360,000, while the assessed value was $70,000 – meaning the state paid 414.3% more than the assessed value. Even on large grant purchases, the DNR wasn’t even doing their own appraisal, instead counting on the word of the seller to set the price.

In the 2002 budget adjustment bill, the Legislature changed the law to require two appraisals, although Wisconsin taxpayers continue to pay the debt service on previous purchases. However, lest anyone think the program was now on the straight and narrow, Doyle came along and used the much-publicized “Frankenstein Veto” to restore a lack of accountability in state land purchasing.

Here’s how it worked: Since the inception of the Stewardship program, the Legislature’s Joint Committee on Finance had the ability to review state purchases of land over $250,000. As a response to what they perceived as a lack of accountability in the program, the Joint Finance Committee included a provision in the 2003-05 budget to reduce the minimum land purchase amount that triggered legislative review to zero. This means all Stewardship programs would have to go through the Legislature for approval.

In crafting that budget provision, the Joint Finance Committee created a new statute. Since the existing statute that set the minimum amount of purchase at $250,000 was no longer necessary, they included a brief provision that repealed that section. This line said simply:

“SECTION 802m. 23.0917 (6) (b) of the statutes is repealed.”

Wisconsin Statute 23.0917(6) was the statute that authorized the Joint Finance Committee to have oversight, and subsection (b) was the portion that specified the minimum $250,000 amount necessary for legislative oversight.

Doyle went in with his veto pen and simply eliminated the (b) from that sentence. As a result, the budget provision read:

“SECTION 802m. 23.0917 (6) of the statutes is repealed.”

With the veto of that one letter in the sentence, Doyle was able to repeal the entire statute that granted legislative oversight.

As a result, Doyle is now proposing drastically increasing a program that plunges the state into more debt, has a shoddy history of accountability, and over which he has unilateral control. Makes perfect sense, right?

Maybe it does to the millions of Wisconsin squirrels who will now be able to move out of their parents’ basements. Of course, they’ll all move back when they realize how nasty squirrel neighborhood associations can get.

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