Last week, the Green Bay Press Gazette decided to do a lengthy story about State Capitol goings-on during the summer. In the article, they quoted a homeless dude that apparently hangs out in the basement:

The biggest difference that Elliott Smith sees in the legislative off-session is that the basement cafeteria is less crowded.

Smith, originally from Texas but now homeless, says he seeks refuge in the Capitol in the daytime.

\”I come here like a lot of people do who are homeless,\” said Smith, 52. \”I like the quiet so I can think about what I want to do to stop being homeless.\”

So…. he sits around in the basement of the Capitol all day so he can think about how not to be homeless? Has it occurred during these intense soul-searching sessions that maybe it would help him to get off his ass and get a job? And remember, taxpaying visitors to the Capitol – keep it down. Elliot prefers smelling like Wild Turkey and three day old urine in a quiet and serene environment. If you see him face down on a bench in the Capitol basement, do not disturb him. He isn\’t passed out – he\’s merely exhausted from his rigorous mental workload, and likely on a lunch break.

And he\”seeks refuge?\” From what? Soap? Responsibility?

SIDE NOTE: Smith is not to be confused with the late/great singer Elliott Smith, who apparently committed suicide by stabbing himself in the heart. That, my friends, is how A MAN kills himself.