Caught this in a St. Paul Pioneer Press story last week: (you may need to register)

A Wisconsin man pleaded no contest Monday to killing his girlfriend\’s son after becoming angry when the boy wet his pants.

Kevin Rood, 42, of Hammond pleaded no contest to second-degree reckless homicide and could face up to 25 years in prison, defense attorney Aaron Nelson said.

Rood was originally charged with first-degree reckless homicide and three child abuse offenses in the death of 8-year-old Stephen Hubbard, who died from injuries Dec. 20, 2004, after Rood pushed the boy into a doorframe. Those charges could have carried a 60-year sentence…

\”Kevin\’s always been very concerned about what happened, and he\’s always been very remorseful about what\’s happened,\” Nelson said. \”I think Kevin was the best thing that happened to that kid. (He) obviously felt he should take some responsibility for it.\”

Yeah – Kevin was the best thing to happen to the kid – until he killed him. If I\’m putting together a list of \”best things that have happened to me,\” the guy that kills me probably doesn\’t show up (unless he kills me while I\’m watching \”Sex in the City,\” in which case he\’s doing me a favor.) In fact, people who have not killed me have a distinct advantage in making the list. But a warning for those sucking up – it\’s going to be hard to leapfrog Peanut Butter Cups, Keira Knightley, and my snowblower.

This goes to show that you can literally say anything these days. He should take some responsibility for it? You think? Was the kid partially responsible for throwing himself into a door frame? Was the door frame maker liable for making particularly dangerous molding?

If an attorney general candidate wants my vote, here\’s all they have to do: Set up a fund whereby people can contribute money – then all that money goes to the family of the first inmate that makes Kevin Rood of Hammond limp for the rest of his life.

I spent Saturday night re-watching Shawshank. Even though I\’ve seen it probably 10 times, I am man enough to admit that I sob like a little girl pretty much the whole way through every time I watch it.

For some reason, Morgan Freeman has this hypnotic spell over me. Every time he starts in with the narrative, I feel every ounce of his pain. I mean Christ, I had to stop the movie and blow my nose when they\’re all drinking beer on the roof of the prison. His final speech before the parole board is an all-timer. And then at the end, when he says \”maybe I just miss my friend,\” my eyes turn into Niagra Falls.

So I\’m thinking we just cut the crap and elect Morgan Freeman President. Think about it – the presidency has pretty much become style over substance anyway. Why not have a President that goes off the charts on the style element?

He could probably talk me, Joe average citizen, into just about anything. If he were giving a speech and said \”My fellow Americans, we need to invade Canada,\” I\’d say \”Yeah, that sounds about right.\” If President Freeman wanted to double your income taxes, what are you going to do, say no? After the 40 years he spent in prison under that horrible warden? You heartless bastard.

So my advice to Morgan Freeman is, \”get busy runnin\’ or get busy dyin\’.\”