Political observers on both the left and right are slamming the uninspiring selection of Senator Joe Biden as Barack Obama\’s running mate. The left thinks Obama missed a chance to have a truly historic ticket by passing over Hillary Clinton, who could have been the first woman elected Vice President. The right simply recognizes Biden as a blowhard\’s blowhard, capable of fitting both feet in his mouth, yet still able to hear the sweet sound of his own voice.
But while some think Biden\’s selection was a step back for gender relations, it\’s clear that it\’s just the opposite. See, for years, female politicians have been held to a different standard when it comes to appearance. While the physical features of male politicians are rarely discussed, women are constantly criticized for their hair, makeup, scarves, and the like. Just look at coverage of Hillary Clinton over the past few years.
Now, with Biden, we have a perfect opportunity to level the gender playing field, as his outrageous hair plugs lend themselves to a discussion of his appearance. Now, when women accuse us of unfairly criticizing their appearance, we can always point to Biden as an example of where we ridiculed his hair. It\’s open season on both genders, and we have the ghost of Biden\’s old hair to thank. Equity!
Biden\’s plugs also raise other questions. Wouldn\’t it be cool to be the guy who donated his hair to the Vice President? Shouldn\’t that give you at least a say who should be labor secretary or something? Maybe partly eligible for the VP\’s pension when he leaves office?
There are some other weird things about the Biden selection. First, they announced it late on a Friday afternoon, at exactly the time when politicians are trying to bury stories. When your congressman is caught trolling for dates at Chuck E. Cheese, chances are he\’s going to tell his side of the story while you\’re driving home on Friday. Apparently, the same goes for announcing the name of a running mate who wears other people\’s hair.
This odd timing might be part of the reason Obama hasn\’t seen any kind of bump from making the Biden selection. It\’s possible not enough people have even heard Obama even selected a running mate, much less be able to judge how good of a pick he is. (For those who aren\’t sure how great Biden is, just listen to Biden himself – he\’ll tell you.)
Perhaps the funniest part of the whole Biden selection is the talking point, repeated religiously by Obama\’s surrogates, that somehow Biden would help Obama with \”blue collar\” workers. Apparently, people working in Washington DC have become so insulated, that they actually believe this. The idea that a 35-year U.S. Senator reflects \”blue collar\” America is simply preposterous. It\’s not like the guy\’s been soldering pipe or sweeping the sawdust out of new homes for the last 20 years. The last time he drove his own car, he was probably listening to the hot new Spandau Ballet hit on the radio.
In the end, the pick of Biden won\’t make any difference either way – just as McCain\’s pick likely won\’t, either. But at least McCain has the decency to man up and sport a good old-fashioned combover. That guy\’s tough as leather.
Other fun fact of the day: An anagram for \”Obama/Biden\” is \”Babe Domain.\”