Okay, someone has to have the guts to say what we’re all thinking, so I’ll be the one to do it:

The chipotle chicken sandwich at Panera is DELICIOUS.

The only problem I really have with the sandwich itself is the fact that Panera pushes the fact that it’s “antibiotic free” chicken. Aren’t the antibiotics what make the chicken so delicious? Can I go up to the counter and request they slather my sandwich with extra antibiotics? In fact, I’d actually prefer my chicken to be the Barry Bonds of chickens, even if it does keep it out of the Poultry Hall of Fame. (But I’d refuse to eat a chicken who was a heavy gambler, like Pete Rose. You have to draw the line somewhere.)

(By the way, when did the word “chipotle” become a real word in the English language? Five years ago, nobody had ever heard it, now you can probably get chipotle flavored baby formula. I propose the following: No word can be added to English common usage, until one drops out. For instance, “chipotle” can’t be added until we determine once and for all that nobody can ever use “oriental” again.)

But here’s the thing that intrigues me about Panera in general: Go in there during the day and check out all the people in there with their computers, working, with papers spread all over their tables. They sit there, all day, putting together their graphs and charts for work.

When did it become acceptable to sit in Panera all day and do all your work? Do these guys really have to wear ties? Why should my bagel purchase subsidize this guy’s office expenditures? It wouldn’t shock me to see some guy with a picture of his wife and kids propped up on the table.

I imagine he has a conversation at home like this:

Child: “Daddy, are you coming to my dance recital tonight?”

Dad: “Sorry, honey – I have a big day at Panera tomorrow that I have to get ready for. I’m planning on trying the asiago cheese bagel, and I have a lot of preparation to do ahead of time.”

I imagine it’s a tough day at Panera when the manager has to cut one of these guys loose:

“Hi… (looks at receipt)… STEVE. I have some bad news… We’re going to have to let you go. No, no, stop crying. It’s nothing you did – your reports on the deliciousness of our chicken salad sandwich were really solid. But we’re going to have to ask you to clear off your desk, and finish your soda. I hear Einstein Bagels might have a spot open on the West Side. Best of luck to you and the kids.”

Next time I go in, I’m going to grab the “order up” microphone and announce to everyone in the restaurant that Friday is now Hawaiian Shirt Day.

In fact, I put together this graphic representation of my love of the chipotle chicken sandwich. As can be deduced from the chart, the more bacon that’s on the sandwich, the more delicious it becomes:

The methodology for this study can be found in the footnotes to this report.

For those waiting patiently for Wisconsin Secretary of State Doug LaFollette to chime in on the issue of gas prices, here’s his press release of today, in its entirety:

Better Choices

Sacrificing our coasts will not bring down – and keep down – energy prices. Drilling our coasts will not solve the problem of high natural gas prices. It simply takes too long to develop a natural gas field to impact prices in the short term. The estimated long-term drop in natural gas prices from drilling new sites is so small that the average American would likely not notice it at all.

The honest answer to our oil problem is to use less of it, and that means better fuel economy faster and a shift toward renewable energy. Instead of the failed policies of the past, it’s time to break our addiction to fossil fuels by shifting our priorities-and our policies toward creating a clean energy economy.

Instead of offering real solutions on energy, global warming and transportation, we are being given false solutions and empty promises. Congress should continue to raise the fuel economy of our cars, encourage the use of renewable energy like wind and solar power, and adopt other, existing energy-saving technologies that cut pollution, curb global warming and create good jobs. These solutions do not require us to put our beaches and our favorite vacation spots on the chopping block.

Thanks for weighing in, Doug.  Now you can get back to guarding the state seal.

With the Brew Crew in the midst of being smoked by the Cubs again, I’m trying my hardest to remain positive. I keep telling myself that the Brewers aren’t really in a race against the Cubs – they’re really locked in a race against the Cubs, Cardinals, Mets, Phillies, and Marlins. So whatever happens with those teams is just as relevant as what happens in this series against the Cubbies. I am also thankful that it started raining here in Madison and my satellite went out, so I was unable to watch Ben Sheets get bombed in the 6th inning. The inclement weather may have saved my life.

But even as you try to spin it positively, these losses are heartbreaking. If someone called me and told me Iran attacked America and now controls the state of Oregon, I’d probably shrug and say “ah, we probably have too many states anyway.” But seeing the Brew Crew fall flat on their faces in the season’s biggest series is almost too much to take.

What’s particularly galling are things like this: The Cubs are up 1-0 in the fifth, and Zambrano looks unhittable. Runner on first, one out. Ben Sheets is up, and… SWINGING AWAY? What in the name of Don Money is going on here? Someone should check and see if Ned Yost is betting on these games. That can be the only explanation for Sheets not bunting the runner over to give Ray Durham a chance to tie the game.

Speaking of Ray Durham, assuming he’s not hurt badly, he should be playing 2nd base from here on out. I’m sure Rickie Weeks is a wonderful baseball player, aside from his inability to either hit or field. Perhaps he’s an exceptional speller. Maybe he has exemplary penmanship. If he’s a great “clubhouse” guy, then good for him – that’s where he can stay. Unfortunately, where he falls short is his ability to play baseball. And that’s something the Brewers kind of need right now.

So instead of continuing to grouse, I’ll leave everyone with this oft-linked to ad:

I’m a Brewer believer. Son of a bitch.

While the state dangles perilously on the edge of fiscal catastrophe, Lieutenant Governor Barb Lawton this week took a taxpayer-expense paid trip to Buffalo, New York, to the National Lieutenant Governor’s Association meeting. During this important meeting, Lawton authored a vital piece of legislation that urged states to push for better health care for their citizens. Lawton’s press release brags:

BUFFALO, NY. – The National Lieutenant Governors Association (NLGA) today unanimously passed a resolution, authored by Wisconsin Lt. Governor Barbara Lawton, a Democrat, and sponsored by Hawaii Lt. Governor James “Duke” Aiona, a Republican, committing the national organization’s members to work toward making affordable, quality health care available to all Americans.

The resolution, passed at the group’s annual meeting, earned co-sponsorship from a bipartisan coalition made up of more than half of the nation’s lieutenant governors. NLGA members pledged to support bipartisan legislation that employs multiple strategies to provide access to high quality, affordable health care; increase awareness of personal opportunity and responsibility to protect personal health, improve the value of every health care dollar spent, and ensure that businesses, government, and individuals all contribute to an improved American health care system.

“Access to affordable, quality health care coverage stands as a major obstacle to economic growth in all of our states,” said Lawton. “My colleagues and I are one in our resolve to provide critical bipartisan leadership and initiate innovative collaborations to build a health care system that works well for everyone.”

Why stop there? Why not introduce a resolution urging the Brewers to win the World Series?

Here’s a suggestion: How about offering real alternatives, instead of wasting taxpayer money on this meaningless jibberish? Honestly – we paid Barb Lawton to travel to New York to pass a resolution that says absolutely nothing. On the other hand, if this is what single-payer supporters consider to be “progress,” then more power to them.

Following Ryan Braun’s 2-run game-tying homer tonight against the Astros, I got up and did a little dance. The following conversation between my wife and I ensued:

Her: “So has Braun finally eclipsed Bill Hall as your favorite Brewer?”

Me: “It’s like picking between your favorite children.”

Her: “Do I get to pick other people’s children?”

As regular readers know, I am somewhat of a connoisseur of crazy people letters to state legislators. I was recently passed this one that’s currently circulating around the Wisconsin State Capitol. It immediately makes the Crazy Letter Hall of Fame, which is getting pretty crowded at this point.

Much like a good novel of any particular genre, it contains all the hallmarks a crazy letter should:

1. Hatred of Jews: Check
2. Ridiculous conspiracy theories: Check
3. Belief they are the only ones standing up to the government: Check
4. Indication that “this is not a joke,” clearly indicating that it is, in fact, a joke: Check
5. Liberal use of the word “warmonger:” Check.
6. Use of own name in third person: Check.

Yet while all these characteristics are present, this letter throws in a few extras for the reader, such as Bill Richardson “claiming to be a Mexican” in hopes of “pulling Spanish votes.” (Perhaps he is unaware Mexico and Spain are on different continents.) As the rock-solid theory goes, Richardson is secretly Jewish, and is pretending to be “a Mexican,” so he and Obama get elected, then he and his Jewish friends plan on assassinating Obama so a Jew can be President. Then (stay with me, here) the Jews will orchestrate another 9/11, and once again blame it on bin Laden.

How this plot has escaped the Obama campaign is beyond me – the evidence is overwhelming. For instance, this guy conducted his own telephone survey, which determined that 100% of Jews support Obama. (“You can do your own poll in one day by making random phone calls.”) He forgot to mention that his poll has an error rate of plus or minus 100%.

You can see on his letter that he has his own (800) telephone number, where he can be reached in his compound in Glenmoore, PA – where he, no doubt, is about to expose the next big story in the campaign. He should actually have his own show on MSNBC.

I will be on “Sunday Insight With Charlie Sykes” this Sunday on Channel 4 in Milwaukee. Over/under on number of times I mention the Brewers is currently set at 25.

That is all.

Who knew there was an Olympics for people who have had organ transplants?

Madison has been chosen to host the 2010 U.S. Transplant Games.

The Olympic-style event is expected to attract 1,500 athletes who have had organ transplants and 7,000 visitors. Organizers say it could bring more than $2.6 million to the city.

The location was announced this week after the 2008 games in Pittsburgh.

You can’t accuse the competitors of not having heart. It just happens to be someone else’s.

With regard to the Packers’ allegations against the Vikings for tampering with Brett Favre – the AP reports that Favre and Viking offensive coordinator (and former Badger) Darrell Bevell are good friends:

“The person said the league already has reviewed evidence provided by the Packers, and team officials believe a league examination of telephone records would indicate more than “normal contact” between Favre and Vikings offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, a former Green Bay assistant.”

Set aside for, a moment, all the jokes about what “more than normal contact” means. Here’s the smoking gun:

If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is.

Today, this came through the wire at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

Carlene and Duane Schultz thought creating a corn maze featuring Brett Favre’s image on a Wisconsin farm would be anything but controversial.

The husband and wife said Favre is still welcome at the Schultz’s Country Barn in Eleva, even though they’ve received a few grumbling comments after the quarterback said he was considering a comeback and wanted a release from the Packers.

The Schultzes have had mazes created in their cornfield for the past three years and sold tickets for people to walk through it. The couple decided this spring to use Favre’s image as a “thank you” after the quarterback announced his retirement.

Aren’t children in Africa dying because we’re in the midst of a corn shortage? Shouldn’t Duane Schultz be making ethanol or something?

And finally, WisconsinEye recently filmed a few segments of the Joy Cardin Show on Wisconsin Public Radio. (I am biased, as I’ve been on the show a couple times.) This segment includes a really interesting take by MATC history instructor Jonathan Pollack, who discusses the news about Favre in the larger context of Wisconsin culture. It’s worth a watch.

Perhaps the most unconvincing trashing of a campaign headquarters ever took place in Viroqua on Tuesday of this week:

VIROQUA, Wis. — Police in Viroqua are investigating graffiti vandalism at the local campaign office for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Someone used red and white spray paint on the plate glass windows of the Obama office on Main Street in downtown Viroqua.

Chief Mark Rahr says someone painted a big red “X” over an Obama campaign sign and wrote “wrong kind of change” below.

Over the Obama lettering on the front window, someone wrote “McCain” in white paint and “He’s a vet” next to it.

Someone also wrote in red paint “Obama is funded by….” and the letters become illegible.

Rahr says the vandalism occurred sometime Tuesday afternoon.

Right.

McCain can barely get conservatives excited enough to vote for him – what are the chances of a few being so stoked that they’d trash Obama’s headquarters?

Plus, do the profiles of “McCain supporter” and “political vandal” really match? How did they get away so quickly in their battery-powered wheelchairs? Who at the home left them unaccounted for?

Then again, the vandalism supposedly took place in mid-afternoon. Just in time to hit the 4:00 fish fry.  And the fact that the last shot against Obama went unfinished could be evidence of a short attention span:

“MCCAIN IS THE BEST….:

…NOW WHERE DID I PUT THAT TOOTHPICK AGAIN?”

The messages they painted are also somewhat less convincing. “He’s a vet?” “The wrong kind of change?” Any conservative hard core enough to trash the Obama headquarters wouldn’t have been able to resist something like “OBAMA’S PLAN TO RAISE TAXES ON CAPITAL GAINS SUX!!!!”

Needless to say, I am not convinced these were pro-McCain forces at work here. It could very well have been Obama supporters engaging in some chicanery, knowing Republicans would get stuck with the damage. (And likely engaging in a post-vandalism terrorist fist-jab for a job well done.)  Then again, had it been Obama supporters, they wouldn’t have been able to keep themselves from writing something like “VOTE MCCAIN FOR ANOTHER 100 YEARS IN IRAQ!”

As a veteran of conservative think tank-ism for over a decade, WPRI contributor David Dodenhoff today provides a little insight as to how reports are chosen and written.  He also gives a dead-on account of the debate that takes place after a conservative report is released.

So, the people who read this blog regularly (and thank you for doing so, incidentally) have probably noticed that I have completely disappeared for a week. It has been a busy week consisting of snacking, napping, and trying to avoid any discussion of Brett Favre. I’ve also been plowing through the excellent HBO John Adams series on DVD – although if there were some kind of award for overacting, Paul Giamatti would likely win a lifetime achievement award for this role alone.

However, given that I wrote a blubbering, emotional post following Brett Favre’s retirement announcement (and followed that up with an equally hagiographic appearance on TV), I feel that I need to provide an update.

I’m not really sure what I can say about l’affaire Favre that hasn’t been said already. But given how heartsick I was when Favre retired in March, it makes it all the more difficult to handle what he’s trying to pull now. Retired legends only have one thing that matters – their legacy. And it’s excruciating to watch Favre set his legacy on fire with this disastrous comeback attempt. It almost gives one some perspective on what it might have been like to grow up in Buffalo as an OJ Simpson fan, only to see your hero murder his reputation (and other people) in his retirement. Fortunately, Favre hasn’t killed anyone yet – although I’m close.

One of the reasons Favre has been deified by the media is because he’s the very antithesis of the character he’s now playing. He’s always been a tough, no-nonsense team player. I even explained away his previous offseason Hamlet acts by recognizing his threats of retirement as bargaining chips to get better players. I figured it was a strategy to force management to bring in better players.

But we’re now finding out that he actually really is as self-absorbed a prima donna as he showed in those offseasons. It’s like finding out Santa Claus runs an underground reindeer-fighting ring. Last night, he threw GM Ted Thompson under the bus by complaining about Thompson not re-signing guys like Marco Rivera and Mike Wahle – both guys who went bust when their reached their new teams. On the contrary, Favre should be kissing Ted Thompson’s feet for surrounding him with so much talent without wrecking the team with bad contracts. Is Favre better than Aaron Rodgers? Of course he is. But the fact that people still believe the Pack can be a playoff team with Rodgers at the helm is a testament to Ted Thompson’s maneuvers.

Let’s get real – the Packers aren’t trading Favre (if Randy Moss in his prime is only worth a fourth round pick, what is Brett worth for a year or two?), and they won’t release him. They hold the cards – either Favre tells them he’s willing to commit to them 100%, or they just tell him to stay home and collect his paychecks for the next three years. Those are the choices. So Brett has to decide whether he wants to drop this pathetic “woe is me” act and get himself ready to play. If not, I hope he has the Sunday Ticket, because he’ll be watching all the games on TV for the next three years.

Sure, people defend Favre because they recognize how much he loves to play the game. But we all knew that when he retired. We all thought that his desire to retire had to be SO STRONG that it overrode his obvious love of playing. But the way he’s whining his way through this comeback is disgraceful – and he’s ripping apart my favorite team in the process. That’s not to say I wouldn’t welcome the sight of him back in a Packer uniform – but if he’s going to string this along with the Brett Favre Pity Fest any longer, he can just stay home and let us all move on. Somehow, I think we’ll get over it.

Last year, as a guest blogger at Overlawyered.com, I pointed out the case of a Virginia restaurant being banned from selling “beersicles.” The “frozen beer on a stick” offering apparently violated a state law that requires beer be sold in its original container or served immediately after it is poured.

Thankfully, steps are being taken to correct this regulatory injustice. From Overlawyered:

Now the state legislature has enacted a bill sponsored by Del. Adam Ebbin and Sen. Patsy Ticer (both D-Alexandria) re-legalizing the cooling treats, which went back on sale July 1 in such flavors as framboise, cherry kriek, cassis, plum, and chocolate stout. (Erin Zimmer, SeriousEats.com, Jun. 25; Gillian Gaynair, “Rustico brings back beer pops for summer”, Washington Business Journal, Jun. 20).

The only question that remains – why can’t I get a beersicle in Wisconsin?

Today, I happened to catch this press release by State Representative Steve Hilgenberg of Dodgeville.  In it, he bemoans the “fact” that people have lost faith in the Supreme Court, due to the influence of special interests:

MADISON – State Representative Steve Hilgenberg (D-Dodgeville) today renewed his call to pass the Impartial Judiciary Bill after the state Supreme Court ruled on a tax case heavily influenced by special interest groups.

“This Menasha case clearly shows that we have to confront the influence of big money in the elections and affairs of Wisconsin Supreme Court Justices,” said Rep. Hilgenberg. “The public’s confidence in the court will continue to wane as long as special interest groups play such a large part in electing Justices.”

Of course, Steve Hilgenberg has no idea what role special interests played in the outcome – he merely knows he doesn’t like how the Court decided.  And his press release, instead of describing how people are losing faith in the State Supreme Court, is actually trying hard to erode public faith in the court.  Hilgenberg is actually on his knees begging the public to lose faith in the Court, in order to garner support for using tax money to finance campaigns.

Of course, public financing of campaigns will do nothing to curtail the outside spending on races that Hilgenberg bemoans.  As long as justices are elected, third parties will have the freedom to publicly support or oppose candidates.  Who finances the actual campaigns of candidates is really a minor point – in fact, contributions to judicial candidates are currently public information.  It’s the independent expenditures that good government types loathe – yet these independent groups have the freedom to speak out on these races.

What we’re left with are a bunch of legislators who are desperately trying to convince everyone that the Court is corrupt, without any evidence of such.  We should keep that in mind when Hilgenberg’s teacher union money comes rolling in during the upcoming election.

This week’s All Songs Considered NPR podcast introduced me to the “group” Girl Talk, who actually just happens to be one guy who cuts up other peoples’ songs and mixes them together. This is by no means a new phenomenon, but his new album “Feed the Animals” is phenomenal.

Here’s the song “In Step.” (There’s no actual video, just the song.) See how many of the songs you can recognize:

And as long as we’re on the topic, NPR has started a new feature that they’re calling “Tiny Desk Concerts,” where an artist plays a live show in their office. In the video of the concert featuring Laura Gibson, my friend Stephen Thompson actually makes an appearance to explain how he got her to agree to do the show. And she is outstanding, incidentally – well worth the listen.

You can see it here.