Some of you may remember when I \”came out\” of my anonymous persona last February. I chose to do it in a Melanie Conklin interview in the Wisconsin State Journal. She seemed to be under the impression that I was somehow worth interviewing, so I happily agreed.

Fast forward to yesterday, when I got a flurry of e-mails from people pointing out that Melanie\’s latest \”Drinks With….\” column features another blogger (Ryan Zeinert) here in Madison. They gleefully highlighted the fact that Melanie has found a \”new flavor of the week,\” and that I am now \”old news.\”

So it is true, my carcass had now been cast aside. The empty shell of a once-interesting blogger, replaced by a newer model. I always knew Melanie would leave me for a younger man, but it doesn\’t blunt the sting much. I feel like an aging stripper, clinging to the pole for one last teary rendition of \”Kickstart my Heart,\” while men turn away in horror. Or something like that.

Anyway, I wish Ryan Zeinert the best of luck on his newfound fame and the untold riches that are likely to follow. I just hope he thinks about us trailblazers when I\’m begging him for loose change down on State Street.

I often see ads for movies that there\’s no chance I\’d go see, but rarely have I had as visceral reaction as I did when I saw the commercial for \”Meet the Spartans.\” It looked like the most offensive, bottom-feeding dreck I\’d ever seen. Making fun of gay spartans? Genius. Throwing a Britney Spears look-alike down a hole? Comedy gold!

Here\’s a commercial. Prepare yourself to be the opposite of entertained:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7kHtkxTcuQ&rel=1]

As it turns out, the movie is the epic piece of trash it appears.

But lo and behold, guess what the #1 movie of the weekend was? That\’s right – \”Meet the Spartans\” checked in at $18 million, slightly ahead of the similarly cerebral \”Rambo.\” I think it\’s safe to say that if you had $8.00 and chose to spend it on \”Meet the Spartans\” over \”Juno,\” \”There Will Be Blood,\” or \”No Country for Old Men,\” you should be eligible for a government-subsidized lobotomy.

So obviously, stupid people are drawn to this movie like moths to a flame. And the studio is more than willing to take their money. So my question is this: Who is looking out for the morons?

The nation\’s economy is about to go in the tank because of the housing crisis – mostly caused by people who were unaware of the terms of their mortgages. Apparently they were absent in math class the day math was taught. In any event, banks are being vilified for \”preying\” on these simpletons – for offering them the chance to own a home, which they couldn\’t do under the terms of a standard mortgage.

I see no difference between that situation and \”Meet the Spartans.\” Hollywood throws out nauseating garbage like meat to the wolves and rips stupid people off. Americans (mostly young, I would hope) spent $18 million to see this trash, when they could have been saving up for college. Actually, scratch that – I can\’t say that with a straight face. The kids seeing this movie aren\’t setting foot near a college campus.

I just hope everyone has the same animus toward movie studios as they do mortgage bankers, for stealing money from these people. There are no good guys in this story.

This post also gives me the chance to display this, which is kind of funny: