My wife and I recently juggled our work schedules around to accomodate some child care issues. Namely, we decided that I would be watching my 2 year old son on the occasional morning.

Little did I know that part of the package deal would be that I would also have to do the grocery shopping with my little man it tow. It occured to me that I haven’t actually been grocery shopping since I got married six years ago. Until now, I just put stuff on a list, and it just miraculously showed up in my refrigerator.

So the boy and I went to Woodman’s today, and I was completely lost. Seriously, if I were ever elected to anything, there would be a horrifying George H.W. Bush is-out-of-touch scene, like when he went to a grocery store for a photo-op and had no idea what a scanner was.

What I didn’t realize, though, is what a ladies’ man my kid is. Every woman that walks by gets a giggle and a “hello.” He makes funny faces just at the right times. In fact, the girl at the checkout area said she recognized him, and he helped her take all the groceries out of the cart.

Naturally, it wasn’t entirely perfect. Being with a 2 year old in a grocery store is like being with a wolverine in a phone booth. He managed to rip open a box of cereal bars and throw my keys into a freezer of frozen pizzas.

But I’m throwing the offer out there to single guys – you can take him shopping, and you’re golden. The only price I ask in return is that you actually keep him until he’s 12 years old.

jk lol!

I think everyone knows by now that police officers of all departments look out for their own. To think that they all have to follow the same laws as you or me is just naive.

However, this website seems to cross the line. It is a site dedicated to ratting out police officers who dare to issue tickets to other officers. It attempts to shame them by publishing their names, in the hopes of dirtying their reputation. All for insisting officers abide by the law.

The most disturbing passage is the first, from Illinois (big surprise there):

I really didn’t mind the ticket once I knew I was getting one. I’ve written thousands and is it really that bad?? The thing that bothers me is 1) she showed no respect for me. All the years I have worked, the different units I’ve been on, the shitheads that I have arrested didn’t mean squat to her. I’ve given breaks before for people doing 19 miles over the limit. I have even let one go for doing 150+ on LSD. She didn’t know this and that’s the whole idea! She should have given me the break knowing that I go out there everyday and risk my life. I wouldn’t have given her a ticket!

So wait… he let a guy driving 150 MPH on LSD off the hook? And he thinks this is a reason he shouldn’t get a speeding ticket? Like, anything that falls short of that should be permissible since he let it go?

Certainly it builds camaraderie amongst cops to have their own code. It’s silly to think they won’t look out for their own. But whining about getting a speeding ticket and threatening those officers with citations if they ever come into your area doesn’t look good. It gives the people already skeptical of police power even more ammo to think there’s a conspiracy against them.

I was on the UW-Madison campus last week with a liberal friend of mine, and we passed a group of college-aged hippies. After bragging that he would be willing to stack his liberal credentials up against anyone’s, my friend said:

“Dressing up as a hippie in 2007 is as ridiculous as showing up in 1967 dressed as a ’20′s-era flapper. It’s just a costume – you’re playing a part.”

I’m posting this video solely because I haven’t been able to stop singing this song for a month. And it’s my blog, so I’ll do whatever I damn well please. Wait… who am I even arguing with?

From the danish band Figurines: Mmmmmm, danish.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14qn87Bi2oc]

Seeing this headline at ESPN.com instantly provoked a lot of questions with me:

PETA says Vick took, passed course on preventing animal cruelty

Exactly what kind of “course” teaches you how not to torture animals? Is this part of a Master’s degree program at UWM?

Here’s a tip for lesson number one: If what you are doing results in dogs being drowned or electrocuted, it is probably animal cruelty.

Who are these people that attend this class? Can I take it and get a certificate as a registered non-dog torturer? I think that would look good on a resume.